Monday, December 10, 2007

Amazing Race

AMAZING RACE: I can't believe the Dysfunctional-Father-Daughter team won the leg - without a Fast Forward, even. The lack of sleep and pressure of the game is empowering the daughter. All is not lost. She told him to notice how nice people are being and that he should treat her as nice. Nice. He had a mini-melt-down at the mere thought that someone might not give him the whole truth regarding flights, though in the end, he had the last laugh. Not that he's one to laugh.

I've been saying for weeks that I know why Cheating-Boyfriend cheated. I'll say it, again - I know why Cheating Boyfriend Cheated. My Amazing-Race-Watching-Partner didn't entirely agree and pointed out that Cheating-Boyfriend is "pretty mean." Hogwash! She starts the fights. How did rowing a boat turn into, "I hate you" and "you're the worst person ever?" Did the show's directors edit out the part where he called her fat? Seriously? Did I miss something "mean?" I guess its a bad sign if my "watching-partner" and I cannot watch Amazing Race without fighting. How do we ever expect to actually participate in the race?

I want to see underwhelmed couple TK and Rachel win this whole thing just because I think it'll be funny how low-key they'll be at the end. You know you're watching a stoner when you see a guy do a zip line across a half-mile expanse and all he can muster is "whoa" and "this is cool."

Nerd Boy and Issue Girl exposed a little too much of themselves, yesterday. We have our answer. Issue Girl is the daughter of a military man. I should've been playing "guess the root cause of their subversive behavior" every week. I totally could've gotten this one. Vixen's Dad is ex-military. Oh, gawd, how pathetic? Her Dad probably ran the family like a platoon, forced her to call him "sir," applied boot-camp principles to the running of the household, and now she's rebelling - by wearing pink and "dating" the most effeminate, anti-father-figure she can find. Oh, gee. Could it be any more trite? I went from thinking, "these two are OK" to "hahahahahahahhaha ...NERDS!" with that single comment. Now I've got to figure out Nerd Boy's deal? I'm going with "he's a nerd" who feels like he "belongs" in the Goth-alternative community. Like, the acceptance he never got from the jock-cheerleader or preppy-kid set, he feels he's found it in the Goth community. I'm also going to go out on a limb and predict he's among the geekiest Goth-guys, too.

Just a question? Can people in the Goth community ever, truly, get along? Or does every Goth person think all the other Goth people are just posers? In fact, isn't the very fact they're competing on a popular network show entirely ironic? Or are they so Goth and subversive that they're supergoth because they're railing against the Goth code of silence?

Next week, I'll venture to a Goth club and watch Amazing Race to see if there's some crazy watching-party where they support their own-kind. I predict that true Goths don't have the slightest idea what The Amazing Race is or even what CBS television is, for that matter. I also hypothesize I'll get beat-up for the J. Crew stuff and condescending look I'll be wearing. I've included a pre-Goth-phase rendering of Donder and Vixen, (left).

Next week, the Goths fight - SO GOTH! - and Grandpa has a dilemma - though it looked like he was battling a bout of dementia, truth be told. Poor guy ...he's old and his Grandson's a dolt.


DaveOholic said...


You missed the most troubling part of this evening race. Why is rowing a boat so difficult a foreign to people?!?!?!?!?
When angry dad was the only one doing it correct and his daughter said turn the other way, I think he was right in his reaction to her. Why does "engineer" always have "nude Grandpa" do all the phisical stuff (he was rowing the boat to begin with). And if I am ever in a row boat and my boat partner suggests that we each take an oar I will send that person overboard, that just doesn't work. I cannot believe that I could have owned this leg of the race just for being able to "row a boat".
I more think of the goth people "pre-goth" as Bill Murray and Gilda Radner when they played the geek/nerds on SNL.
In summation, learn to row a boat and you will rule the day

DarrinW said...

catch, drive, finish, recovery - the 4 steps of a successful rowboater. Yeah, I earned the rowing merit badge at summer camp and I'm not ashamed to disseminate this knowledge. I can feather an oar with the best of them and pivot on a dime. If it sounds like I'm bragging it's because I am..... I would have won that leg.

And who was the tool rowing forward? You don't get any drive and instead look all herkey jerkey and limp wristed.

I have another rant about goth but I'll save that for another time and place.