Thursday, December 04, 2008

Barack Obama, Oprah Winfrey, Michael Moore

*** EDIT: Huge news from a loyal reader ...the Garmin Forerunner 305 is on sale at Costco for $159 ...just sayin' case anyone around this blog would need to know something like that. ***

Oprah Winfrey plans to broadcast from Washington D.C. the entire week before Barack Obama's Presidential Inauguration. Michael Moore still hates domestic automakers.

Now that the blatant attempts to trick people into reading my blog are out of the way, I'll get to the good stuff.

DECKING: The halls. We're off to a slow start, but I think Operation Christmas Decor will be in full swing by this weekend. My household will smell of pine, cinnamon, and citrus. Lamps and overhead lights will be supplanted by tiny white lights on strands ...everywhere.

LIGHTING: The house and tree. But, not to the point I'll share pictures, just yet. I did the roof line and I'm waiting for my electrician to come out this Sunday to give me two dedicated electrical outlets (possibly four) to string the rest of the lights without blowing circuits. Don't worry ...I won't forget to laud my efforts in a future post.

The tree was the real coup. I hurried the selection process while at the tree lot in order to trick my wife into purchasing a tree too big for our living room, because last year's 7-foot tree was just too small. The tree is too big and needed a great deal of pruning, but it's up and fabulous. And I don't even mind that the star isn't actually "on top" (because the tree goes right up to the ceiling) and is just laying in the branches.

COUNTING: Down. Only 6 1/2 weeks until American Idol premieres and I'm chomping at the bit to be poignant, witty, funny, and to write it all down for your reading pleasure.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Sarah Palin Rumored to be Dating Britney Spears

Sorry about the headline, but another trick I'm going to employ in 2009 is using wild, bodacious headlines and word-pairings to spur hits to my blog. Then, I'm hoping the pervert who was hoping to find pictures of Sarah Palin and Britney Spears making out is interested enough in what I'm actually writing about (my hair, my workouts, my observations of conversations between grocery store employees) to stick around.

CUTTING: My hair. My stylist was quite interested in my product-free approach to 2009, but had to admit that, following a quality shampooing and conditioning, my hair did manage to style quite well without pomades, molding muds, gels, our sculpting lotions. I can't say he was fully supportive of my decision, but he's playing along with it for the time being. I mean ...I understand. It's like buying the Mona Lisa and insisting on painting a mustache on her or framing it in a puffy painted naked wood frame from Bed, Bath & Beyond. When I'm out walking around, its as much about my stylist's reputation as it is about my own "look."

I swear, I will not let him down.

TAKING: Pictures. Sure, I should be angry as a wasp (a wasp who's nest has been disturbed, that is, because an unaggitated wasp is actually quite pleasant, believe it or not) that my friend the photographer has grown his business and still hasn't used the catchy jingle-slash-song I wrote for him. But he's a friend, so I'm going to pretend he has a big radio or television commercial campaign planned and my song will be featured prominently. For now ...please check out his new website. And especially check out the 'Portfolio' section and click 'Little Ones' kids are the really, really beautiful ones.

INSPIRING: My triathlete friend, Steve. His recap of his first Ironman doesn't exactly inspire me to follow in his Ironman footsteps, but he did get me motivated enough to take on a really tiny triathlon and I'm definitely doing more of them in 2009.

RECRUITING: Non-Celebrity Fit-Club friends. Yes can be my fitness friend, too. I'm putting together a calendar of target events and then I'm going to recruit an army of active, fun, committed people to run in all these events, bully the other racers, and then party with afterwards. One thing I've noticed about all these fitness events ...not enough beer and partying at any of them. I aim to change that. Keep checking back and "comment" if you wanna know more and even get onto a mailing list. Trust me ...I'll make it fun and easy. That's what she said.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Thanksgiving: The Recap

By far, this was one of the more enjoyable, relaxing Thanksgiving weekends I've had since, oh, probably college. I can't put my finger on the 'why', but it was.

UPDATING: Real quick Christmas list. 23 shopping days remain. Hope you took advantage of the doorbuster deals and thought of me.

TESTING: My children's DNA. It appears that you can now determine which athletic activities suit your children and then relentlessly push them into sports that fit their aptitude. A NY Times article says they can swab your child's cheek and ...voila. They'll tell you if he's a "strength & agility" type, or a "distance & endurance" person. What do you do if the test reveals your kid has "sit & mope" tendencies? Sit and mope, I guess. Crap. Chip off the old block.

AGING: Andy Rooney. His body and his brain. He wears shirts three times before washing them, pours hot water through coffee grounds he puts in a sock (I think that's a sock in the video), and he steals bread from restaurants to have for breakfast the next morning. He's like homeless person, really. And he really makes me laugh. And if you can't laugh at old people, who can you laugh at?

I can't help but think that, in 30 years from now, if I'm still blogging, my blog entries won't be much different than his weekly brain babblings. I can only hope my eyebrows grow out.