Monday, December 24, 2007

Bug Off. My Ego's on Vacation

I can't believe you people expect me to blog on Christmas Eve. Sure, Amazing Race was on, Donder and Blytzen were almost eliminated, Bad Dad was bad once again, and the coolest racer ever, KT, overcame every obstacle imaginable. Ho, ho, ho, hum.

First ...this ...hit play and enjoy some music it whilst reading:

All I know is that if American Idol fell on a holiday, I think they'd have the decency to take a night off. But I love you, Amazing Race, and I'll watch you no matter when you air. And you weren't on the air last Sunday ...and I was sad ...even though I was watching Survivor, which makes me happy ...I was sad. I was torn.

Last night's episode saw the 5 remaining teams operating on limited sleep ...I think they stayed awake for 30+ hours straight. Awesomeness always happens when you throw sleep deprivation in with extreme stress ...but ...when you combine it with an email from home, you've really got yourself an emotional stew ...yummy.

Unflappable TK almost ...almost ...looked flapped. He needed to go air born 5 times to see the next clue spelled out in a farm field. This after his girlfriend left their first clue at some coffee shop. And if that wasn't enough ...he acquired a flesh eating bacteria. No. I'm kidding. They got a flat tire. Surely I thought this hippy was done fer. But, no. He triumphed and changed that flat tire. And then he punctuated this feat by saying, "and they didn't think I could change a tire!"

Huh! Do you have enemies back home whom use this to degrade you, TK? Relax. Lots of people would struggle to change a tire.

I think I know what's in TJ's backpack. Pot. Lots and lots of pot. Remember, they did have a leg that went through Amsterdam ...need I say more?

We saw some emotion from Bad Dad when his daughter read an email from his other daughter. You could tell this really choked him up. He was, obviously, very sad she wasn't there with him so he could tell her how much he hates modern technology and then chew her out for her poor grammar and spelling in that email. Instead, he took it out on his Racing daughter. Next week she really gets it.

What else? Oh ...yes. CBS made Dumb Dumb and Grandpa get tattoos? A ridiculous "F F" tattoo, at that! Can you believe that? That's harsh. Tune in next season where the Fast Forward includes branding or that crazy African tribal ritual of lip or ear drum stretching. Geez, Burnett. Give a guy a break. Oh ...and I apologize for the picture at the left, but I just wanted to make sure everyone knew what I meant in my lip-stretching joke.

Kynt and Vyxxen annoy me. I'm bummed it was a non-elimination round. I would've liked to see them eliminated. Sure, they're goth ...looking ...but very little else about them is "goth." Couldn't they speak in 14th Century English? Or cut each other or recruit a man-slave or something during one of these legs? Their shtick has gotten boring. "Looking goth" is not what the show's producers had in mind, I'll bet. It would be like having a Charlie Chaplin impersonator or a mime-couple on the race'd expect them to stay in character or something. I mean, damn awesome would the race be if Vyxxen dragged Kynt around with a dog collar and leash for a leg? Imagine the look on Phil's face - and how high he'd raise his eyebrow - if Vyxxen forced Kynt to sit and beg just before stepping onto the mat at the end of a leg? Imagine.

Well, no, actually, I don't know what "goth" people do to be all "goth" and stuff. Kynt and Vyxxen aren't doing much to break down barriers for goth-people, I guess. I just assume they act like freaks all the time and do freaky things.

Well ...that was that. Kinda awkward to wish you all a Merry Christmas just 50-words after I envisioned a woman walking a man on a leas and 200 words after I posted a picture of a disgusting, stretched out lip, but so be it ...Merry Christmas!!! That's right! I said it. This blog will not succumb to the "war on Christmas!" I won't go all "Happy Holidays" and stuff. No way! I'll say it, again ...Merry Christmas. Bam!

Happy Holidays (note to potential sponsors: I've relaxed my stance on the Christmas thing, already).

1 comment:

Myndi said...

I'm not really sure any of that was so much goth as it was "dominatrix". But, hey, whatever floats your boat...

the bit about Ronald berating his other daughter...awesome. And ery likely accurate. The man is a prick.