Thursday, July 24, 2008

Gee ... Did I Just Become a blog about Running?

With shoes, your body switches off to a degree, and your reaction time decreases.
As loyal readers know, about two years ago I read an article in Men's Health about barefoot running. Because the logic of said article made sense to me, I adopted it entirely and without question. I bought a pair of Nike Free 5.0s and quickly proceeded to not run. Now, however, nearly two years later, I've started running and never before have I run further, better, and with so few injuries (shin splints, aching knees, ankle soreness).

See the video at

I've practically become a spokesperson for these shoes. The computer animation here (below the fold) shows the benefit as I understood it. Basically, when we wear socks, shoes with huge springy and cushioned heels, and possibly orthodics, we thwart evolution. The Men's Health article basically said to imagine your child is about to walk into traffic at the foot of your driveway. Would you run heel-toe and lope out to get him? No'd take off running on the balls of your feet. Running on the balls of our feet and using our ankles and knees to absorb impact is how nature intended it for us. We are not meant to land solidly on our heel straight-legged, using our leg like a pogo-stick with only foam or a Nike Air pocket to soften the blow.

Ouch! My hip hurts just thinking about that.

WISHING: Some loyal 'Ego reader will buy me these Montrail Highlanders. Or the Newton Running shoes. I'm not picky.

Not bored enough, yet? Try this article on for size. And then, try on some barefoot running shoes.
Modern man does spend too much time in shoes, and this weakens many of the foot and leg structures. To correct this, you can walk barefoot around the house, do simple foot strengthening exercises, or run a few barefoot miles a week on safe, secure surfaces.

And I raaaaan ...I ran so far. Period. I ran far.

RUNNING: I'm just sayin'. I ran far. I can, now, run far. Last week I ran 6 miles in a single run. My personal best-ever. And now, this Saturday, my wife and I are running another "Bump n' Run" from Jeff Watters and GLTeams at Bloomer Park in Rochester Hills, MI. Four killa miles of rivers, ravines, trails, and a 4-story hill that you can't exactly manage without crawling, clawing, and grabbing every available root and tree branch to handle its steep grade. Oh, and we end the four-mile run with 190-stairs and then a 1/4-mile run to the finish line. Not to mention the 5 or 6 "adventure" stops along the route where we'll be forced to do push-ups, down-ups, squat-thrusts, dips, and more!!! Join us ...if you dare!!! Moohahahaha! To entice you, lemme just say Jeff Watters's dad cooks the post-race meal and I hear his fajitas are worth the price (blood, dirt, scrapes, a bruises) of admission. Plus ...if you finish this ass-kicker, you will be incredibly proud of yourself and you'll likely brag to your friends (or blog about it if you have a blog).

PARENTING: Oh more thing about the "Bump n Run" ...bring your kids. 3 years and older run a modified Kids Fun Run afterwards and my 5 and 4 year old LOVE THEM! They were so proud of themselves last time. I, however, told them each they could do better and niether took it very seriously and I took the light bulbs out of the lamps in their bedrooms and said they'd get them back when they show they can train hard, run hard, and bring pride back to the family name.

I'm a great parent.

BEANING: spunky. As in, spunkybean. Did you miss Batweek? 'Tis OK. Though half the nation saw that dang Dark Knight movie this past weekend, the other half of this country will be seeing it this weekend. Learn about the best Batmen, the hottest, hunkiest Batman, someone's irrational love for the 1960s-Adam-West Batman, and the best and worst action figures, villians, and story lines. Was that last sentence a run-on sentence? Who can say for sure? Grammarians, that's who(m). Also of note this week was an article by spunkybean's Casey Pilkenton that really struck a chord. Read it.

THANKING: My loyal readers. First, my wife, with this piece of news that will make her all excited for TV this fall . . .
The Starter Wife, which began as a miniseries (and was not expected to continue, but now is coming back). Here is what The Starter Wife lead Debra Messing had to say about next season:

"In terms of the miniseries and Molly, her life begins, really. The miniseries was kind of summer, and now school begins. It's about how she feels with her new love life. We have a love interest, and she is entering the world of Hollywood trying to figure out how to make a living. She is also inter-acting with her husband much more than expected because they are divorcing, and they have a daughter and old friends."

And for D.W. ... some news about Chuck ...
Josh Schwartz on the re-launch of Chuck:

"We plan on launching the show in a way that if you've never seen the show before, you'll be able to tune in and get it right out of the gate. If you were an avid viewer but can't remember the last time it was on, you can also catch right up. And if you've just watched every episode, you can pick right up where it left off."

And from a TV expert (who should be punched or slapped with a cold herring) ...
The unfortunate prediction is not to expect much out of Chuck, Life or Lipstick Jungle next season. Chuck generated only minor interest among adults 18-49 anchoring Monday, and there is no reason to think that will change next season.
He's so wrong, it makes my athlete's foot flare up, dammit! Chuck will succeed because, now, the show has the power and influence of DonniEgo and spunkybean behind it. That's some power! What's more, Chuck is awesome and I think it's going to be on the same night as Heroes and ...well ...other than any night featuring two-hours worth of American Idol, NBC just created magic. Doug-Henning style magic!!!

RUMINATING: The Seattle Supersonics are moving their team to Oklahoma City and calling themselves Thunder. The Oklahoma City Thunder. I'm disgusted by modern day mascots and I think I may write an article on spunkybean about this disturbing trend.

Monday, July 21, 2008

I'm Doing Things

You know the story, right? You try and blog every day. You make a note of almost everything you think about ... "just look at that crazy bumper sticker!' ..."Little Debbie cream-filled oatmeal cookies ROCK!" ..."the Chrysler Town & Country is a work of genius" ... "I gotta get that CD" ... "ohmygosh blog! It's been four days." ... and "who is that calling my name? oh ...them are my children and, geez, they seem to want me to come away from the computer or something and play or something."

Then, of course, you have that full-time job, right? And that other thing you do ...the spunkybean or whatever website it is that you manage and write for I write? Let's call that "web site" a "hobby." Kapeesh?

And then about 200-words into a blog entry (like this one), you realize how lame and uninteresting your blog actually is. Happens to everyone. Lucky for me, my blog is for me and about me, so this last point of observation can be crossed off the list of "worries."

ROLLING: Blogs. Totally just added young Kevin's start-up blog to the right hand column of the page. And avid reader of Don's Ego blog, its the least I can do. The man fancies himself a creative writer and I, for one, really like his inaugural etnry. I like almost anything written that references The Beatles.

LISTENING: The Black Keys and Mark Ronson. If you haven't heard of either of these bands/groups, you can't use that as an excuse any more. I've told you about 'em. Let this be your notice. If I was half the man I wanted to be, I'd embed some tunage from right here. But I'm only a 1/3rd the man I wish I was.

EDITING: This blog entry. Check it out, my peeps! A play list from Two songs from the two bands I just lauded. Make sure you give a quality listen to the Mark Ronson track ...yup ...he remade a Britney Spears song and its spectacular.

UPDATING: My side bar. I'm not even listening to Panic! At the Disco in heavy rotation, anymore. And I'm not reading either of those two books. So ...what gives? I want to be your complete, one-stop, update on all things "me", so what good is it if I don't update the easy stuff? Look for those to be updated more often.

See you tomorrow.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Mid-Year Resolutions

Ohmigosh. The middle of the year came and went and I didn't make a single mid-year resolution, nor did I take a look back at my new-year resolutions and assess progress. Why? Because I don't make new-year resolutions. I'm bigger than that.

MINIATURIZING: My van. As in "mini van". Awwwwyeah, boooooy! Donnie bought his wife a mini-van. The Chrysler Town & Country, to be exact. We pick it up, tomorrow. I've fathered three children ... I turned 35 ... I wear Docksiders ... I bought a mini-van. And I'm excited about it. What has become of me?

FLIPPING: Brands. I'm a General Motors guy from a General Motors family and I follow a strict "buy American" mantra. Between my immediate family, my Uncles, Aunts, and all my cousins, we've mostly always owned G.M. vehicles. My parents bought my siblings and I a used Ford Escort in college because it was cheap. And my Grandfather, a lifelong Cadillac man, bought a Lincoln Town Car as his last car because ...well ..Cadillac stopped making those big ol' boats.

So, I bought a Chrysler ...and it's a weird feeling. But General Motors decided not to build mini-vans anymore and the mini-van's they built, they decided to commit very little creativity or ingenuity to the design. So they forced my hand. Some might argue that the Saturn Outlook or GMC Acadia is "like" a mini-van, and they're right. But it's not a mini-van and lacks stow-n-go seating, sliding side doors instead of regular doors, and lots of floor space to move around.

Basically, I can't wait to take a long road trip, soon, and sing show tunes and folk music with the kiddies and play license plate bingo.

That what I've become. Clark Griswold.

Monday, July 14, 2008

I Love Batman Week

What's that? "I Love Batman Week?" I know. Not nearly as much fun as "I Love Don Week" and thanks to everyone who made it such a great week. Wow. Talk about awesomeness. But, no. This week is Batweek or "Batman Week" on Everyday we'll have another ...oh ...wait ...

CRUSADING: Caped. As in "Caped Crusader" which is, of course, Batman. At least I hope it is, or EJ and Nic will spray me with sleeping or laughing gas, no doubt. All this week on spunkybean we're gonna have articles about Batman, Batman's enemies, the good Batman stuff, the bad, and even the hunkiest Batmen. If you like Batman even a little (or have a pre-teen nephew or a cousin who never married and wears a Batman watch), make sure you read. You'll love it.

CHOKING: Down Old Fashioneds. Here's a suggestion ...don't ask the 19-year-old at your neighborhood grocery store, the kid stocking the shelves with bagged cheeses, where Angostura bitters are. They'll look at you like you're crazy. Second tip ...if you can avoid it, don't take your 5 and 4-year-old into a corner liquor store. It's been a while and there is an incredible amount of porn ...everywhere a liquor store. If the sign out front says "Beer. Wine. Liquor. Lottery.", you can bet there's porn ...everywhere. And ...also in the store? Drunks with red faces buying more booze. However, I've never met more friendly and helpful people than the two gentlemen running the place. It was like I brought a box full of kittens and Santa Claus into their establishment. They gave each kid a candy bar, gave them each a quarter, and recognizing that I had cornered my children in a section who's site lines were free of porn mag covers, the owners ran all over their liquor store grabbing me "bitters", Rye Whisky, and every other type of whiskey they had. Then they pulled out a drink-making book and consulted 4 or 5 possible Old Fashioned recipes and explained the differences I'd notice between the whiskeys. It was really cool, actually ...except for the fact I had a 5 and 4-year-old with me. Whoops.

In the end, I got my bitters and the owners both agreed (Vikas and Alan) that the Seagrams 7 I had at home would work well enough. My 5-year-old wanted, "Aladdin's lamp" ...the liquor who's packaging looks like a genies lamp. I could make a crude joke here about buying that for Mommy and having a "wish granted" but ...please Aunt and Uncles read this. I'm classier than that.

Once home, I put two sugar cubes in a rocks glass, douced them in bitters, smashed the cubes, filled the glass with ice, added 2 oz of Seagrams 7, added an orange slice and ...choked ...down ...essentially ...whisky with just a hint of sweetness. I'll bet it would have tasted better with a cigarette in my hand and Brylcreem in my hair. Well, my 2nd attempt, I used 2 sugar cubes and smashed (muddled) an entire orange slice before adding the ice and whiskey. And ya know what? It still tasted like whiskey.

So next Old Fashioned is going to be prepared using brandy or Southern Comfort (which I love ...I love a SoCo Manhattan) and I'll report back.

RUNNING: Club. Yup. That's right. I'm going to join a running club. I'm fit.

Friday, July 11, 2008

I Love Don Week: I Love Don Day

In the future, you won't be working on the 11th day of July because "I Love Don Day" will be a nationally recognized holiday. But for now, please observe this great day in your own way. I'll be walking around the halls of my work place and making sure everyone has wished me a happy birthday, mainly.

EATING: Birthday dinners. Last night my wife made me BBQ chicken and baked potatoes, and then followed up with gourmet cupcakes from a gourmet market place. Yup. That's how I roll ...everything gourmet. I stack papers. It was wonderful and tasty and my Dad and his lady friend attended. Prior to 1973, most people knew July 11th as my Dad's birthday, but funny how times have changed.

EATING, AGAIN: Hi, sweetie. I hope you check in on my blog today. Nothing fancy tonight, ok? You out did yourself last night. A simple steak with a garlic infused rice side dish, or shallots and shells with that spicy Italian sausage and heavy whipping cream will do just fine. No need to go all crazy. Thanks. Oh ...and pick up sugar cubes, Rye (that's whiskey), and Angosturo bitters while you're at the store. I'd like to make myself an Old Fashioned.

LAMENTING: For those in the ad biz or any biz that deals with age-cell demographics, you'll understand why this birthday is especially hard for me. With today's celebration of my birth, I've entered the Adults 35+ demo. This is tough. On my way to work this morning I took the Active Rock, CHR, and Hip Hop stations off my radio presets and added a Soft AC, a Smooth AC, and a News-Talk station. Gosh, this is tough. As if spunkybean's "What the Kids Like" feature wasn't alienating enough, now I'm not even sure I'm allowed to read it at all. I'm gonna have to get used to singing the lyrics to classics like this ...

REVIEWING: Old journal entries. Here's a bit that I used to use in my stand-up act. Believe it or not, with a little ad libbing and a little dancing on stage, this got some fairly decent laughs. I always hoped it was 'original.' My fear, always, when doing stand-up was that I'd watched so much TV and seen so many comics throughout the years that the bits I wrote and thought were original were just somebody else's jokes that had resurfaced from deep within my subconciousness. I managed to avoid airline jokes and prop-comedy, but I was never fully convinced anything I said was my own. But here's something that got me some laughs. And it's a philosophy I absolutely believe in.

HOKEY POKEYING (circa 1998): It always saddens me when brides insist their DJs don't play the "Hokey Pokey" (let alone the "Chicken Dance", any "Polkas", the bunny hop, "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang, and other standards). I lecture almost all couples-to-be that, indeed, it is all about the Hokey Pokey and I often cite a bogus statistic that the reason 50-percent of marriages end in divorce is because of the modern phenomenon of not playing the Hokey Pokey at a wedding. So, when I go to a wedding, I bring no less than $100 which I use to bribe the DJ to play the "Hokey Pokey". Only 3 DJs have denied me and only one took the entire $100. Of the 3 weddings I failed to have the "Hokey Pokey" played, 2 of those 3 ended in divorce. Of the countless others where I successfully forced the Hokey Pokey onto the unsuspecting couple. Zero divorces. Yes, its totally true ...I've been to easily 50+ weddings and only two of them have ended in divorce - because I failed those two couples.

*** Edit: Any money leftover goes into the bride n groom's card. So ...if you want $100 ...invite me to your wedding and make sure the "Hokey Pokey" is on your set list so no bribing is necessary and, hence, you get a hundy. ***

Also, and this wasn't in the stand-up act, it's all-American. Why do young brides resist such a great American tradition as the "Hokey Pokey." If you hate terrorism and love America, do the "Hokey Pokey" and dance your ass off to the "Chicken Dance."

And, finally .
..people need these standards to get them on the dance floor. Weddings are most fun when the dance floor is packed, men have their suit coats off, their ties undone, and they are sweating through there shirts as they dance along awkwardly to Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock n' Roll" or Chubby Checker's "The Twist." Wanna see a dance floor empty in a hurry? Play something by Rihanna or Kanye West. Wanna see the dance floor packed and stay packed? Play the "Hokey Pokey", Del Shannon's "Runaway" or Dion's "Run Around Sue" and follow that up with "Jesse's Girl" and you'll have a packed dance floor until the Knights of Columbus hall kicks you out at 1 a.m.

Holy crap! I'm totally 35. I just posted videos to three super old songs and then screwed up the entire post and couldn't figure out how to make the font size work. Damn these new fangled bloggies. *sigh* And I wear these...

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

I Love Don Week, Entry the Second

REDIRECTING: You. If you haven't gotten me anything, there's still time. One easy thing for you to get me that doesn't cost a thing and gives me the recognition and attention I so dearly crave is this: click on and then click on my The Bachelorette recap. If you had a blog and a website, I'd humor you. Won't you do the same?

RE-REDIRECTING: You, again. While you're there, don't forget to read my Wall-E write-up-slash-review. And if my generalizations aren't enough for you, fellow spunkybeaner, EJ, has his own blog and wrote his very own Wall-E review. I guess you just can't say enough about this movie. And in reading EJ's review, its why I sometimes think I have no business reviewing anything because I miss the big picture things that movie snobs like to read about.

So, we talked about my articles. We talked about my friend and his articles. What else? Oh, yes ...let's talk about me! It's I Love Don Week, as you may recall. Those hallowed eight days leading up to my birthday, which is Friday. Some things I still haven't received that you still have time to purchase are the t-shirts I blogged about. Or, there's the Mad Men soundtrack on CD and, yes, Mr. Miller ...I could get it for free or cheaper, but I want the CD, the case, and all that goes with it. Like good old fashioned music buying. So ...think about that, fans-of-Don.

WATCHING: Mad Men on DVD. My wife and I watched the original episode last night and it was as awesome as ever. This show has quickly sky rocketed into one of my top-10 all time favorite shows and didn't lose anything upon repeat viewing. In fact, it was better. Don Draper likes "Old Fashions". Hence, I now like Old Fashions. I've never had one, but damn if I won't choke one down just to be like Don Draper. I'm going to a cocktail party tonight and you can bet I'll be ordering one. And I need to buy sugar cubes for home. Classy, classy.

CELEBRATING: I Love Don Week, Day 6. Well ...let's just sing the song (to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas).
On the 6th day of I Love Don Week,
My true love gave to meeeeeeee...
6 landscapers to mow my lawn,
The Last Lecture in hardcover,
Frito Lay Jalepeno cheese dip,
Mad Men, Season 1 DVD boxed set,
New socks from Costco,
And one round of golf, guilt freeeeeeeeee.
SKIPPING: Writing something from an old journal entry here. This entry is long enough.

That's all I got for today, boys and girls. Go Tigers!!!

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

I Love Don Week

CELEBRATING: So, it's day 4 of "I Love Don Week" and what have you done to show you care? For those unfamiliar with "I Love Don Week", its the 8-days leading up to my birthday. True. "I Love Don Week" has 8 days because 7 days are simply not enough days to adequately celebrate the day I came into the world. Care to sing along?
On the fourth day of "Don Week" my true love gave to meeeeeeee.
One can of Frito Lay Jalepeno Cheese Dip,
The Mad Men Season 1 DVD boxed set,
Eight socks from Costco,
And one round of golf, guilt freeeeeeeee.
I've petitioned Congress to officially recognize this newest Holiday and I'm hoping you'll support my efforts. I promise 3 extra days of vacation to all government and Union workers.

ADMIRING: Our military. We saw fighter jets practicing about 2 hours south of TC. Just two jets doing loops, spirals, skywriting, and dives. It was awfully impressive. We assumed it was part of something going on at Rothbury. Maybe they were practicing for the Cherry Fest, too. The hundreds of people on the beach and all the boaters all over the lake all stopped in awed wonder. Strangely, it felt incredibly patriotic. Or maybe that's exactly how yer supposed to feel when you see your country's unparalleled military excellence, machinery, and precision. America! F' yeah!

MORE CELEBRATING: The release of Mad Men Season 1 on DVD and my receipt of said DVDs. Its every bit as awesome as I had anticipated and I can't wait to dive into those bad boys all week long.

EATING: This past weekend was as wonderful a Fourth of July weekend as I can remember. Perfect weather, fireworks, family, swimming, golfing, and BBQing. However, I didn't have a single hot dog, but I had burgers. Does that count as All-American? I had a shish kabob, which I suppose one could argue means I support terrorism. I also had pizza. Holy crap. That's some hippie, commie eating behavior ...I'm hitting a coney island and gettin' some hot dogs and fries for lunch. Shame on me. Maybe I should have just cut a few hot dogs up and added them to the ends of the kabob.

LISTENING: To a new CD my sis recommended ...Charlotte Sometimes's Waves & the Both of Us. Damn those folky people ...I can't even understand the title so I suspect the lyrics will lose me completely. Also, I'm really enjoying The Black Keys as reviewed by young Kevin Miller on spunkybean. I only downloaded Attack & Release and Rubber Factory but I enjoy them both and have been listening during my running and biking. Good tunage.

BEGINNING: Reviewing my old journals. I have 3 spiral bound notebooks dating back to my college years where I wrote down ideas, cut and clipped articles, wrote the beginnings of short stories, poems, and other random stuff. I'm hoping there's some brilliant stuff in there. I'm also hoping to weed out the bona fide craziness so in the event, many years down the road, my children and grand children find these musings locked inside an old footlocker they come away with a fond look inside my head and what I thought when I was 20, 24, or 28 years old. I want to rip out the pages that paint me as a troubled youth who should've been locked up.

REVIEWING: Old journal entries, Part 1. Hey. It's a photo from my Senior Year All Night Party. Look at me. I'm wearing a hot pink hat that says "Chicago Bullshit" on it with a Chicago Bulls logo. I was allowed to wear that to a high school event? In 1991? The hot pink was so "hot" its entirely possible nobody could see the profanity on said hat over the glare. Apparently the theme of my Senior Year All Night Party was something beach related because I'm in a picture with 9 other people and there are beach balls and surf boards. Wow. 1 picture. Great memories.

Here's a copy of a toast I gave at my brother's wedding. Lotta words there ...maybe an entry for another day. I remember I got a lotta laughs.

OK, here we go. A movie premise. An exhcange of emails with my friend Darrin about said movie premise. A group of 30-something ex-frat brothers, tired of their ever increasing stagnant lifestyles, kick around some ideas for fun and adventure - New Orleans, Vegas, cattle rusting, or running with the bulls. All agree none of those things are really feasible but instead invent an eco-challenge for regular guys hoping to capitalize on environmentally conscious trends and meet some granola girls. Word of the event sweeps the nation and beer league softball teams, bowling teams, and Knights of Columbus guys from all over the country start signing up. What these ex-frat brothers thought would be a lark becomes a calling for every 30-something ex-athlete, ex-dreamer and the generally lethargic Gen X is born again and the younger generation begins to realize they can change the world.

Hmmm. Like Old School but with a "green" message and life lessons. I was so young and naive. And unmotivated, apparently, because that entire idea was spelled out in 5 email exchanges and then nothing was ever done.

Well that was fun. All that stuff can stay. I ripped the 5 pages of notes I took when I was taking a writing class at Second City because it wasn't really noteworthy. Just notes from a class. Ok ...well here's the "10 Rules of Writing" they taught us on the first day. And with that, I'll bid you 'good day.'
Rule #1: Remember you are writing for the stage.
Rule #2: Pick 30-minutes (the same 30-minutes) and write EVERY DAY! (he made us underline it thrice).
Rule #3: Don't worry about being funny.
Rule #4: Don't be afraid to fail.
Rule #5: Quanity, not quality at this point.
Rule #6: Listen to your excuses, then blow them off and ignore them.
Rule $7: Write ideas down during the day; keep a pen & paper near your bed; never let a thought escape.
Rule #8: Make a brainstorm list (ideas, pictures, etc)
Rule #9: Do your homework for this class; always type scripts; bring 3-copies
Rule #10: YOUR WORK IS NOT SHITTY! (kill your ferocious self-editor)
And here's the 3 rules to improv...
Rule #1: Yes, and ...always be in agreement, never argue; DON'T DENY
Rule #2: Don't ask question.
Rule #3: Stay in the moment

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Hatred for Hinder Continues

HATING: Hinder. My loyal readers may remember that I proclaimed my hatred for Hinder over a year and a half ago. And once I blog something, its permanent. Hinder drew my ire when I heard "Lips of an Angel" on my favorite station immediately following Led Zepplin's "Black Dog" and AC/DC's "Dirty Deeds". There I was, rocking out on an A.O.R. station and then suddenly I'm listening to some dude singing these sappy, sad, pathetic lyrics. But it wasn't just that. Hinder's website made some bold, ballzy claim like "Let nothing 'hinder' your appreciation of the subtleties purveyed by this Oklahoma City fivesome, who are collectively dedicated to bringing back the good old decadent days when sex, drugs, and rock n roll weren't dirty words, but a way of life."

So, what's the latest wild and crazy, rock n roll, ass kickin' thing they're doing? How about teaming up with American Idol's David Cook to write lyrics for him. Now, I like David Cook and I like American Idol, but I won't have the femmy boys at Hinder sullying David's or the show's good name. I'm going to write David Cook a long email and tell him he's better off recording a duet with Chris Brown, George Michael, and setting the whole damn thing to a rave beat than teaming up with Hinder.

Screw you, Hinder! Go make a song that gets played on Disney Radio like Good Charlotte did and go on tour with the Backstreet Boys.

Hahahahaha. I told them.

MORE WISHING: Maybe the Mad Men DVD Season 1 boxed set isn't something you want to buy me. That's ok. Either of these shirts will do. Or, maybe even another shirt of your choosing from Something you'd like to see me in. I'm a Medium. Athletic cut, if that's an option. Or, just send me anything. So I'll feel popular. Like someone's reading.

LISTENING: ...its a college station. Probably too cool for you. But check it out. 97-X - BAM! Specifically, check out the Modern Rock 500 countdown replay.

Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy

This is it. My big break! Screw the writing crap, the web site, the spec scripts, the radio show I'm writing for, and the screenplay idea. Nope.

WALKING: On. That's right, I'm going to have a walk-on role on Mad Men. Check out the contest. I'm going to shoot a video and you all are going to vote. Again, and again, and again. What should it be? Should I sexually harass my assistant? Should I call the women in my office "dames", "toots", and "sugar?" Should I see a pretty girl in the hallway and say, "Damn! Can I get some fries to go with that shake?" (you have no idea how badly I've wanted to say that to somebody ...I know ...I know ...its awful ...but funny). Whatever I do, I'll have severe amounts of Brylcreem in my hair, a Scotch and water in my hand, and a cigarette a'burnin'.

HOPING: That someone who loves me realizes the Mad Men Season 1 boxed set with the ultra cool packaging came out yesterday (July 1st) and that they plan on purchasing it for my birthday which is, now, only 10 days away.

RUNNING: Ran 4 miles this morning like nothing. I asked myself, "Where did that energy come from?" I had a burger for lunch and a turkey burger for dinner, and fries at both meals, plus a pickle, and then 4 chocolate chip cookies (home baked ...yum, honey) and two chocolate chip brownies, and a large glass of 2% milk to wash it down. And here I thought that would put me in less-than-peak condition for an early morning run. Wrong-oh! I've discovered a *new* runner's diet. I feel immense ...and thanks to those calories ...I probably appear a bit more immense.

MORE RUNNING: With Nike Free 5.0 barefoot running shoes ...just like the ones Will Smith is wearing in his new film Hancock. Hell yeah, everyone. Many laughed at my commitment to the art of barefoot running but the laugh's on you. Will Smith runs barefoot ...well ...with expensive shoes designed to mimic running barefoot ...but still. Me and Will Smith. We're the same.

And I wonder why my love handles don't seem to go anywhere.

WRITING: My Bachelorette recap. I got a late start and was tired, and lazy, and uninspired ...but rest assured the recap will be posted for your lunchtime reading pleasure at good 'ol spunkybean.

MISSING: You. Or, you, me. Either way. I'm gonna be vacationing for a few days because everyone gets all excited about July 4th, it seems. I get excited to drive hundreds of miles and buy $4 gas. I used to pay much less for gas, but now I buy the good shit. $4 gas ...its gotta be good! (one of you will know where I stole that joke ...the rest of you ...just call me a joke-writing comedic genius).

SINGING: Along to Rihanna. She's on the radio right now. Hey. It's my blog. If I wanna confess I listen to the same music teenage girls listen to, I can. Shut it.