Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Where Does the Blog Time Go?

PROCRASTINATING: Blogging about Heroes, The Bachelor, Michigan State University, Phenomenon, and Halloween.

BLOGGING: Celebrities. What am I doing when I'm not blogging, procrastinating, or pretending to work? Reading other blogs. Trio put together a list of 66 celebs who blog. Curt Shilling's is actually impressive and worthy of a bookmark (or RSS). Mark Cuban, as one might expect, keeps his posts up-to-date and relevant - even commenting on his ouster from Dancing With the Stars. Trio could've actually checked a few of these and probably made it "30 Celebs Who Blog." I'm just sayin'. Another blog I read, and this guy really isn't a celebrity unless you are from Detroit or a fan of Michigan State basketball, is Maurice Ager's blog on Men's Health. He really keeps this thing current.

VISITING: Home towns on The Bachelor. This show always gets more interesting when the non-attention-starved family members get in on the act. You can't fault them. The bachelorette's Moms and Dads didn't audition for a reality show. Some of them don't even watch reality TV, obviously, because they never fail to embarrass themselves, not understanding the way writers and directors will take 3 hours of dialogue and cut it down to the :55-seconds you talked about astrology and metaphysics. Poor, poor Sheena. She was the prettiest gal left of the bunch. Some might say her crazy-astrologer mother was her undoing, but it must've been something more. Something left on the editing floor. Cuz how does this nice (and pretty) girl get sent packing whilst arrogant, boring, stiff Bettina and her holier-than-thou, uppity, snooty family get to hang around? Grrrr. I hate Bettina. The Donniego household was never a fan of Deanna, but suddenly, she's the front runner. Bettina is annoying and pre-worn. Jenni's laugh will drive you insane, trust me. Plus, she's not giving up her Phoenix Sun dancer world for Austin-bar-owner's wife.

PREDICTION: Deanna and Jenni in the final week.

HEROES: Once again, I'm two days late. By now you've probably read message boards and fan blogs (including A Nickel for the Swear Jar's blog entry ...damn, this kid is obsessed ...but in the nicest possible way). Ya know how when you graduate high school you try and keep in touch and slowly you and your friends all drift apart (despite having written K.I.T. in all their yearbooks)? Maybe that first year back from college you all party like crazy together, but you realize that, sadly, you are all drifting apart. You all have your own college friends, now. You can't help but patronize and look down on the friends who didn't go to college, stayed home, got jobs. Someone, no doubt, has a girlfriend that you all hate. Point is. It just kinda happens. Its natural. However, imagine if all your friends possessed freakish powers capable of destroying the world and you were all united by a single thread that made you different. Would you really lose track of each other?
Angela Petrelli: "Hey. Have you heard from Linderman lately?"
Bob: "Didn't he play cello?"
Angela: "Yes. Oh, and he could bring things back from the dead."
Bob: "Oh, yeah. I totally remember him. Damn, we had some wild times. What ever happened to him?"
Angela: "I think he founded his own company doing research and stuff on something. I don't know." (lights cigarette with her finger tip)
Bob: "Loony Linderman? Has his own company. I'll be damned. There's hope for us all."
(both laugh)
Bob: "Oh know who I ran into? Parkman? Remember him?"
Angela: "You're kidding. I ran into him, too."
Bob: "No shit? Where?"
Angela: "He haunted me in a dream ...I nearly cried I was so terrified."
Bob: "Wow! Same here. I couldn't really make out everything, but I'm pretty sure he's going to be in New York in a week or two. And he's going to kill me. And everyone. Wow! It'll be good to see his crazy mug again."
And ...scene! How in the hell did this happen?!?!?!? The "Group of Twelve" (as they're called) were obviously close at one point ...close enough to take a nice photo together. But now they're scattered all over the world. The writers had better have a darn good explanation for this ...or ...well ...I'll keep watching. But I might audibly gasp a bit more.

Also funny how Mohinder thinks he's back on solid footing with Ned Ryerson just cuz he refused to inject the Mimic Waitress. Is Mohinder really that stupid, or is he simply feigning stupidity in order to be trusted - and not be turned into a solid gold statue of himself at the hands of Ned Ryerson?

And finally a fist-pump and a head-cock. Bennet's in control. Complete control. He knows Mohinder is a moron, but he's OK with the moronic actions he's taken. He'll kill everyone and his plan is still on track. Bennet knows he'll die from a bullet-to-the-eye ...but he's cool with that. What will be, will be, says Bennet. And I'm pretty sure (said in high pitch with eyes squinting to indicate sarcasm) that he knows Claire (the Cheerleader) is dating a flying Hero guy and that she's lying to her ol' man. If he can read the poker face of a 60-year-old character actor, he can certainly figure out when teen-star Hayden Panatierre is lying. Right? Of course, of course.

I wish I could bump into Sylar right now ...I'd take advantage of his weakened state and taunt him mercilessly. Until, of course, he killed me and took my power of Common Sense. The world would be in some serious trouble, then.

PHENOMINIZING: The show Phenomenon is as horrible as I had expected. These tricks are not tricky. They're all set-ups. Relying on Carmen Electra to actually remember which nail gun she's supposed to load or how she's supposed to "secretly" indicate to you which nail gun will kill you was the most impressive thing of all. Or that the sequence of "tickles" would be 1. chin, 2. head, 3. nose, and 4. boobs. How does Carmen Electra remember 7 things at once? Wait. Check that ...the biggest trick continues to be how Criss Angel hides his dorky lisp. Yup. That's right, Crissth. I'm onto you. And your magic sucks. And what's with the super-femmy, high-pitched celebrity judge-slash-assistant. As if the show wasn't unwatchable enough, they put this guy on there. I'm pretty sure he makes gay people uncomfortable, even. Ah, who am I kidding. All you need to know about this show can be found at ANFTSJ and his All Pilot Project review of Phenomenon. Will ANFTSJ watch again? I don't know. But I will because its fun to make fun of this turd bag and his lame show of lame magic.

Do I pimp for ANFTSJ, enough? Get used to it.


EJ said...

OK, that was funny. As to the 12, Angela said that they did something unforgiveable. I think that whatever group decision they made tore them apart. Like how you don't really want to see your buddies anymore after that time you got wasted and beat up a hobo.

Myndi said...

Yeah, Mohinder, God bless him, just needs to sit there and look pretty. That's about all he's good for. I notice you didn't even try to get into the whole Peter hugging his lady and all of a sudden they're in an empty Times Square. WTF? Didn't we do this already? And, I guess Hiro did not re-watch "Back to the Future" inhis spare time, because he's really screwed now, huh? I've always said Michael J. Fox was put on this earth to teach us. Well, not really. Wait...did I just make this two "Heroes" comments in a row that manage to reference a star of "Family Ties"? Next week, I'm gonna have to work in Tina Yothers. Oy vey.

Myndi said...

OK, I just watched the last half of Phenomenon. Wow, that was crappy! The gay guy? Ross the Intern, who was at one time an actual Tonight Show intern and has somehow managed to parlay that into a career, even with a voice that could cut glass. But, actually, I've seen him enough places (Celeb Fit Club, once on The View) and he seems like a nice guy. Just annoying. But I did like the guy who went off on Angel. That kind of rocked. And what was Raven Symone wearing? I bet Bill Cosby calls her up and tells her to put some pants on. Shame on her.

EJ said...

I forgot to record Phenomenon last night! I fully intended to share in your misery, but I blanked out.

You know, it's possible Mohinder has a plan. Remember last season when he went on a road trip with Sylar, and we were all asking "How dumb is he?" and then he got the drop on Sylar and said "How dumb do you think I am?" I mean, it is still possible that he is that stupid, but at least there's a precedent.