Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Real Quick and Boring

THINKING: I don't use this blog as a political soap box. I have my political leanings, philosophy, and voting record, same as the next guy. I used to be much more "involved" - meaning, I had Hannity and Olbermann on my Tivo To Do List and I listened to Al Franken and Rush Limbaugh. Recently I heard Dennis Prager say that Limbaugh is getting unwarranted flack for saying "phony soldiers" (clip is here, upper right hand corner) and that Keith Olbermann was more hateful for hating Michael Medved for writing about myths of slavery and that Limbaugh and Medved shouldn't be fired, but Olbermann should. Oh yeah! Well, I brought the buckets and shovels and you're not playing with them (kicks sand).

Adults acting like children, I tell ya. Check that. Spoiled children posing as adults. Odd as it may seem, most adults don't act like this. Don't believe me? Go ask your neighbor for a cup of sugar. I bet she gives it to you and insists that you don't need to buy her a bag of sugar. But I bet you'll try and buy her a bag of sugar for her trouble. And I bet she'll refuse it. I know this because that is what people do. And I would bet, whether your neighbor was male, female, gay, straight, Muslim, Jew, Christian, Union, white-collar, a senior, a yuppie, single-with-no-kids, Republican, Democrat, or atheist, that you'd get the sugar.

FURTHER LISTENING: Amazingly and coincidentally, Dennis Prager's guest today was "The Death of the Grown-Up" author, Diana West. I must read this book. I want to go on record in saying when I read Prager's "Think a Second Time" back in 1995, it opened my eyes. I came away with renewed hope that there can be intelligent debate on major issues. At the time, Limbaugh was launching into the stratosphere and his approach kinda sickened me. I eagerly read Prager's other books ..."Happiness is a Serious Problem" and "Why the Jews?" I found them fascinating and enjoyed his approach. So imagine my delight when I realized he was hosting a show airing on 1400 AM, WDTK in Detroit. "Finally," I thought. "Someone who neither stands in line with the left or the right and speaks for the centrists. Sadly, while his show does break from the Hannity-Limbaugh-Ingraham-Colter formula of right-right-right-hate-the-left-Dems-libs agenda, he seems to be increasingly falling in lock step with the right. I had higher hopes for him.

But I'll keep listening and I'll read this book - though Diana West is said to have a "a hard-line conservative's interest in culture." I'll bet you she points to zero prominent conservatives, Republicans, or noted evangelists as a sign of "arrested development." I hope I'm proven wrong because the title suggests a great premise to expose the destruction caused by extremists on either side of an argument.

I argue that both Liberals, Democrats, Republicans, and Conservatives, more and more, ALL behave like children and are all a part of "bringing down Western Civilization."

I would like to create a podcast and call it The Fence. I think someone needs to stand in the middle and rail against the extreme right and extreme left. Why won't Dennis Miller make Larry Craig jokes? Why won't Bill Maher make obvious Hillary Clinton jokes? I'm tellin' ya ...this show would work.

(steps down from soap box)

GLORIFYING: Beastie Boys are in the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame!!! OK. They've been nominated (1, 2, 3). Thanks to Donniego reader, Myndi, for that heads up. I gotta get the pictures of me an my brother at their September 25th "An Evening with the Beastie Boys: A Gala Event" show at Detroit's Fillmore. The show blew me away. I made the decision to skip the hip-hop show performed Monday and go to the gala. Prime choice on my part. 90% of the people dressed to the nines. The set list was unlike any of the previous 8 Beastie shows I've attended. All instrumental, minimal DJing, and deep, deep album tracks.

Note: It wouldn't kill Mike D to eat a few more carbs. Good lord, he's skinny!

WATCHING: Oprah. Wait ...don't click away!!! Yes. I watched Oprah. It was a show dedicated to men. My wife made me watch. But, ya know what was good. It was 90% penis focused. Oprah left her stage and Dr. Oz spoke to an audience of men-only. Oprah could have Oprahsized this and ruined it, but it was actually quite good. I learned alot. But mostly I learned that men could lose limbs, toes, or even an eye, but all we care about is our erections and the hair on our head. I also learned that I was happier clinging to certain myths and urban legends than actual scientific facts. I am forever changed.

ALSO, ALSO WATCHING: The Bachelor. Again, this guy is a little different. He doesn't say "amazing" nearly as much as previous bachelors and he can actually laugh at absurd behavior. This weeks magical moment? Some overly-aggressive chick planted a kiss on him mid-sentence. And it wasn't one of those movie moments where the kiss was the perfect interuption to a sexually-tense- rambling-monologue. Like, imagine your waiter planting a kiss on you while you were telling him you'd like ranch on the side. This kiss interupted the bachelor saying something about horses. Or maybe the chick just got really hot and bothered at the mention of horses? HeeeeeeyOOHHHHHHH!

HEROES: I'm glad the Marty-McFly-Under-the-Sea-Dance-Back-to-the-Future story line involving Hiro and his ancient lineage is getting resolved quickly. I'm severely disappointed that the Cheerleader, knowing she's a key cog in the universe unraveling or not unraveling, is more moronic than ever. If I told you that you were super important to saving all humanity from the forces of evil, do you think you would (a) sober up, get straight, and start to realize a greater good and develop a big-picture sense of the world, or (b) sulk, pout, and act like a shop-class-remedial-English teenager? What if I told you that after you saw people fly, detonate, and read minds? I suppose you'd have to have some context to how "super important" you are. Well ...the Cheerleader cut off her toe and the Flying Teenage Peeping Tom saw her and flew away. Hopefully they'll talk and she'll introduce him to her "father" and he can go play poker at the Kinko's with Memory Stealer guy and the other Heroes the Dad and the Indian Dr. are rounding up.

(cough) Do you want a better recap? I'll bet. Go here: ANFTSJ

G: I've only talked about Cavemen for the entire summer. And I missed it. I'm under the impression that it sucked pretty hard. Sorry for using such strong jargon (mostly apologizing to family members who don't expect me to be so crass), but that's the summation of the 3 reviews I've read. And you know how I hate to mince words.

Mmmmmmmmm. Word mints. I could totally write for The Simpsons.

TIVO'ing BUT PROBABLY NOT WATCHING: Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. There was a time when I might've told you this was one of my top-5 shows on TV. I really enjoyed 5 stereotype-type gay guys coaching the dirtiest and geekiest of dirty dirtballs and nerds on how to act "gay." That's if you call reading books, shaving, and tucking your shirt into your pants as "gay." I should've been insulted, yet I was entertained. I watched and learned. I started using actual shampoo instead of a single bar of soap for both my hair and body. I bought a nose-hair clipper and painted my walls with bold colors. Then I realized the show wasn't that entertaining after all and forgot about it. Well, its still on and it just launched its 5th and final season. 10-15 more shows will air and they'll check in with some of the losers from previous seasons to see if they've stayed well-groomed, kept buying 100% cotton, and picked up the crap around their apartments. Sooooooooooo exciting. Truth be told, I may not watch, but I feel I owe the Queer Eye guys at least a place on my Tivo's Now Playing list that I can watch if I'm bored.

It's Wednesday and LOST should be on. Dammit! I want my LOST and I want it now!

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