Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Amazing Mad Minutia

PROMISING: Proof reading. Grammar and spelling checks. More concise prose. How can I expect to lure and maintain readers if I banter about using run-on sentences, too many participial and prepositional phrases, mismatched pronouns, and misspelled words. My eyes just returned from two or three mostly-unreadable blogs that droned on and on with too many words.

Still reading?

UNCOMPROMISING: In light of my recent grammar and spelling proclamation, it should be noted Donniego will never relinquish it's overly-hyphenated-nouns nor it's ellipses ...known by many as dot-dot-dots. I also like commas. I'll use them in ways that'll make your head spin.

JOKING: Popular songs are remade and become hits. I assume both the original artist and the new artist "get paid." Popular movies are remade. Occasionally a song or movie is remade multiple times. I wonder ...why I can't I just remake popular jokes from classic comedians and create an entire seven minute set? What's the deal with taking my wife, please? My wife and I were happy for twenty years. And then we met. The other night while staying in a hotel in Chicago a woman was pounding on my door for hours. Finally I let her out.

See me being boo'd off stage at a comedy club near you.

FANTASIZING: That someday I will be David Sedaris. Great interview, here. Someday my movie script will be done and picked up by a Hollywood studio.

ENDEAVORING: To be a columnist. I'm close. If Event A, B, and C happen and Person A and Person B come through, there may be a day in the near future where my Ego has its own column and this will be a link-through FROM that site. Oh, joy. Joy to the world.

: My write-up on Mad Men and The Bachelor. Why? For whom? Don't you get it, yet? Me! See top of page for further explanation.

AMAZING: My second favorite show, The Amazing Race, is returning in place of Viva Laughlin (BIG THANKS to Donniego reader Myndi for the tip-off ...no ...I won't call it T.A.R. ...ever ...but thanks, anyway). The Amazing Race 12 premieres November 5th. I only hope the contestants won't be singing. And I'm tellin' ya ...I'm going to be on The Amazing Race, someday. My brother and I or my wife and I. It will happen.

As for the show. Just look at the group pictured here. Just look!!! I haven't words for how excited I am. I won't "get to know" the teams via the site, but I do always wanna see how hot the chicks are. There's a few. But while 'click'ing around, I couldn't help but notice Kynt and Vyxsin. They describe themselves as "dating goths."

What? Oh ...I guess my boss is asking I do some project-thinga-ma-jiggy and come into a meeting ...but he doesn't understand.

Back to Kynt & Vyxsin. Yes. I rush to judgement. That's how I roll. I've decided I hate them already. How could the show get better? How 'bout you throw in a couple of married lesbians who are also ordained Christian ministers!?!?!? (breathing into a paper bag ...excitement level too high ...hoooooph ...hoooooph ...ok ...color coming back to my face) There's also an old couple, a grandfather and his grandson (neither is gay ...go figure), and at least 6 hot chicks. I wish I could go to sleep and wake up in 11 days!!!

For the record, it is my lunch hour. And, thank goodness I have a coworker *AS* excited as I am and she was able to come into my office and we were able read the bios, high five, jump up and down together, and scream!!!

OK ...I'm about to faint, again. I need to get back to that paper bag.


Myndi said...

Fine, be that way! I always love to look at the contestants before the season starts to see if I know someone--I figure it has to happen eventually. This looks like a rather diverse crowd, and only a few model slash actors in the group. No one really looks like I'm going to like them immediately though, which could be problematic. I'll be there either way, though. I mean, I watched the entire Family Edition, obviously I'm addicted to this show!

Don said...

The family edition helped The Amazing Race "jump the shark" ...but I think the show can still get its mojo back. If these personalities are in-line with what CBS did on Survivor this season, the show will be solid, again. My wife and I intend to go on this show and refer to each other using profanity laden nicknames so the sensors have to beep us every time we address each other.

EJ said...

I once tried to define my relationship with a woman by convincing her we should try out for The Amazing Race, and then seeing what she put as our 'relationship' on the application. Needless to say, we did not appear as 'Dating Couple'.

Other than the Family Edition, and some poor course layout last season (you shouldn't be able to get a 24 hour lead because of flight times - and it certainly shouldn't happen in consecutive legs), Race has a really solid record, and I am so enthused that I sort of want to hug Don and scream like a pubescent girl.

Don said...

Ya know how some blogs have loyal readers and occasionally they host get togethers? I will never have one of those because I fear it would degenerate into a room full of people jumping and hugging every time one of them makes a poignant observation on pop culture.

But then again, the world needs more jumping-hugging-screaming-circles.

DarrinW said...

Can I give you a hug? Please?