Doin' the 'do and Doin' the

RESCHEDULING: My haircut. I realize I said I was going to get my hair styled last weekend, but it wasn't in the cards. So I've endured one of the longest, unruliest weeks and, finally, I'm getting re-styled. Three stylists will show me their concepts for my hair via three 10-minute presentations and whomever I feel most comfortable with, and whom I believe share my vision for my hair, will be chosen to shampoo, condition, cut, and style my hair. If even one of these poor fools thinks electric clippers is the way to go, I'll bounce their ass faster than a 3am oil infusion treatment.

ARRIVING: My coat. Curse this 79-degree weather cuz I want to wear this thing.

PLANTING: Trees. 3 of them. A Ginkgo, a Maple, and an Oak. I'm like a one-man reforestation effort.

WONDERING: Why The Onion hasn't written me back? Not even a cordial 'we recieved your writing submissions and we're reviewing many outstanding candidates.' I'd even accept 'we had a good laugh at your sixth grade level writing samples.' It matters not weather I get positive or negative feedback, mainly I just like attention.

TALKING: Finally, the security guard at my brother's grocery store has given us something to ponder. Enjoy.

The DonniEgo Community Theatre Players
present
The Crazy Conversation VII & VIII:
G= The Security Guard; B = My Brother

G: Hey, Don's-Brother. You know that little guy who rides that tri-cycle?

B: Yes.

G: Ya know he never has any trouble, he is just out getting exercise and getting outside?

B: Yeh.

G: Now he is just pushing a cart around the store and just getting exercise. Ya know he is just moving around the store and not bothering anyone?

B: Yes.

G: I think his name is Raymond; he is a good guy.

Later...

G: Hey, Don's-Brother. Who is that little guy that's a cashier? I think he is new?
B: You mean him (pointing at the new cashier)?

G: (not looking where I am pointing) You know that new guy? He is short?

B: I think you mean Derek; he just walked by.

G: Did he? Well you know I hear that alarm going off all night and it just keeps going off. I try to keep track of where the customers are coming from when the alarm goes off. I noticed that he has alot of customers from his register that set the alarm off.

B: Oh.

G: Yeah, Grace and I talked to him yesterday and told him what he is doing wrong. He has to make sure he is scanning everything and I don't know if he is.

B: What?

G: Yeah, he came up here yesterday and went behind the counter to get some cigarettes, I don't know if it was Parliament or what. I don't smoke; you don't either do you?

B: No.

G: Well he got his cigarettes and he only had a couple bucks, ya know you need more than that to buy cigarettes (at this point I don' know if he is still talking about the cashier or a customer)

B: No.

G: Ya know I have noticed these things before and I usually just tell the manager and they handle it however they want to.

B: Thanks.

G: Ya know what they say ... "You have to play by the rules of the game, or the job you are in."

B: (I have never heard this saying ...I walk away)