Weezer Stuff

LISTENING: I told you there's no need for you to scour the Internet searching for Weezer news. The new single can be heard here, unless I can embed the player in some slick way. If you go to the site, it just plays and plays and plays and plays and plays.

DAMNING: The Girl Scouts and their tasty cookies. How am I supposed to get washboard abdominals with 10 boxes of Peanut Butter Patties sitting in my cupboard? Do I have to eat 7 or 8 cookies in a single sitting, you ask? You want me to be happy, right?

WRITING: A friend gave me an awesome little piece of writing software and I'm bull rushing ahead on the screenplay. Bull rushing, I tellz ya. What about the reality show concept, you ask? Crap, man! First you 'judge' me on my gluttonous cookie consumption and now you're all over me for my lack of follow thru ...get off my back.

AND WRITING: As always, Wednesday is the day you can read my American Idol recap and I have to say my write-up today is an all-time top 10 recap from yours truly. I make Al Queda jokes, and if you can't joke about Al Queda, what can you joke about, I always say.

OK, I've never said that, actually.

OBSESSING: I just listened to "Pork and Beans" for the 7th time in a row. I wish I was kidding.

I don't give a hoot about what you think.

-Rivers Cuomo lyric from "Pork and Beans" single

Feelin' the Pinch

Happy, Monday, blog readers. So many things I could comment on ...Miley Cyrus's ill advised topless photo shoot, the NFL draft, my Red Wings, Pistons, or some general philosophical life-lessons or whatever. The events of last week have left me completely uninspired to write anything. But, I'll try...

RECOMMITTING: To Project Washboard (the mission I'm on to achieve washboard abs in time for my August vacation). I'm the type of guy who likes to affix 'blame'. I blame my parents for my being short, I blame high-fructose corn syrup for society's (and my) obesity, and I blame monkeys for everything else. Well, 10-days worth of birthday cake coupled with comfort-eating to mourn the death of a friend have seriously affected my efforts. I could easily blame the 10 boxes of Girl Scout cookies for delaying my progress another week, but I'm committed to working through the cookies and still exercising and eating right (when not gorging on Girl Scout cookies, that is). Today my efforts begin, anew, with a new reason.

SOUTH BEACH DIETING: I just booked tickets for two nights in Miami for June 27-29 to see my buddy Nick. I refuse to be the fat, pale dude from the Midwest when I'm down there. I have exactly 61 days until Miami ...so if you see a high-carb, non-nutritious food item in my hand, smack it to the ground. Unless its a Girl Scout cookie ...then just make sure I'm consuming them in moderation.

A two-hour Dancing With the Stars is on tonight, as is Greek and The Bachelor: London Calling. That's what the 'cool kids' will be watching.

Whaddya say we call it a day? I'm with ya. Peace out.

Serious Hit

REELING: Project Washboard took a serious his this past week. I'm the type of person who likes to assign blame, so I'll blame my 5-year-old and the two birthday cakes that occupied my fridge and I'll blame sadness for overindulging on a double cheeseburger or two. Comfort food. Hey, I didn't invent the phrase, only perfected it.

REDIRECTING: You. To spunkybean's What a Week It's Bean feature. Great stuff there, this week!

WEEZING: Just look at the new CD cover for Weezer's upcoming album. Does it make you as happy as it makes me? I'm guessing not. But look at it, anyway (and click on the picture below for a bigger image).
READYING: For a busy weekend. Bowling banquet, tonight. Daddy-Daughter Day at my daughter's pre-school, tomorrow, followed by the funeral for my friend. Then its home, pack, and hit the road outta town for a cross-state trip to celebrate a nephews First Communion on Sunday followed by the return-trip cross-state.

NAPPING: On my couch, Sunday night. I'll be watching sports and all the stuff I Tivo'd from the weekend.

Have a great weekend.

Sad

Sometimes things happen in life and everything is put in perspective. Ya know how in my post from two days, ago, just below this post, I was listing all the things I had on my to-do list? At least half of the things on that list ...ok ...all of it ... it'll get done. Eventually. Maybe. Who cares, actually?

REMEMBERING: Yesterday I learned that an old friend had died. He was 36. We exchanged emails and text messages here and there, but I really had not seen him in almost a year and half. I credit this guy with a great deal of my success. When I hired into radio in 1996, I really had no idea what I was doing or getting into but only knew the people who sold radio advertising had fancy cars and nice homes. So I figured there was money, there. This guy hired into WRIF, Detroit, on the same day as I did and for reasons I'll never know, he took me under his wing acting like a big brother and a mentor. He had no reason to do that, as he was hired with experience, he had a nice list of clients he was hired in to represent, and he knew at least half the staff already from being in the radio sales business for a few years. But he did befriend me and mentor me. A little less than a year later, another young guy hired in and my mentor also became his mentor and for 4 years we had the time of our lives. We made great sales, we enjoyed every day we came to work, and we enjoyed countless laughs at station events and functions. I can say, unequivocally, that without his friendship and guidance, I might not have made it out of that first year in radio sales, but instead I'm enjoying my 12th year in this business.

His passing is a shock. He had a huge heart, and generous spirit, and everyone loved him. Not 'most' or 'almost everyone' ...and this is not hyperbole ...everyone loved him. He was the guy that made every situation better. Made every situation funnier. He picked up everyone's spirits, everyone's slack, and every tab and not in a show-offy way ...he did it because that's just who he was. The guy that made everything just a little better.

Until Tuesday.

He is gone and no one knows why. No one can believe it. He will be missed by everyone. And if I don't power wash my kid's swingset or renew my MSU football tickets exactly on time, I guess it doesn't really matter.

Also dead, singer-songwriter Paul Davis, who was famous for hits like “I Go Crazy” and “’65 Love Affair” and my personal favorite, "Cool Night." I'll simply embed the YouTube vids of those songs here even though they are wildly inappropriate as any sort of tribute song to my friend Bob Kozaitis (well, "'65 Love Affair" sort of works if you replace the words "love affair" with "not a care", replace "65" with "95", replace "you'd still be mine" with ...ah, hell. I guess you'd have to throw out all the lyrics except for "if I could go back in time", "rock n roll was simple and clear", and "we didn't care ...it was crazy.")

It was crazy.

As my friend Nick said, "Bobby made us laugh until it hurt, he was our mentor in radio sales, and we will miss him dearly."

And as my friend Jenn M used to say ..."this is pure gouda."

What I'm Not Doing

Ya ever have one of those days where you lay in bed right after your alarm clock goes off and you get a little sick feeling in your stomach thinking about all the things you have on your to-do list? And you wonder how the heck you ever got to sleep the night before, and then you remember, "oh, yes ...black-out drunk."

Before I list the things I'm 'not-doing', let me tell you about one thing I actually did.

WRITING: With a spunkybean writer on vacation, I stepped up and recapped last night's Dancing With the Stars. I watched only my second episode of this show, ever, and I still don't understand why and how everyone is so into this show. And people actually go see this show LIVE when it tours. But if you like the show, and you like me (hence, you are reading DonniEgo), maybe you'll like my take on the show.

PROCRASTINATING: Everything ...or so it seems. Need to plant those three trees in the ground, need to plant my herb garden, organize the garage, iron clothes, fix a hole in the wall, develop some new business at work, re-write my reality show pitch, write my movie script idea, need to send $80 to someone I owe money, I need to do a better job of marketing spunkybean, need to call the sprinkler people, fertilize my lawn, call my electrician, fix the sewer gas smell in a cabinet by my kitchen sink, power wash my kid's swingset, build shelves in the garage, renew my MSU football tickets in time, order concert tickets, book a hotel room for a wedding coming up, clean out the gutters, clean the windows, take my car into the dealership to check the 'service engine soon' warning, read the books I'm intending to read, and ...ouch ...my chest. Hurts. Need ...to ...simplify.

That certainly wasn't therapeutic. In fact, it was more masochistic. They say it's good to have 'lists', which is true, unless that list makes you feel like a failure.

At least I can say I'm never bored.

Weekend and Weekbeginning

Gotta keep those 'writing juices' flowing, so I gotta keep blogging. For some more quality, thought-out reading, we've always got well cooked contect over at spunkybean, but if you like randomness and A.D.D., this is your place.

ADMIRING: My friends and their work. I have two friends who keep blogs devoted to their hobby of photography. The first, Darrin Wassom, who's taken nearly 4 decades to turn his unique observations on the world into art, quickly turned his hobby into a small business. Make sure you click around his site and through to his blog, and then to his flickr account. I enjoy Darrin's photography for the same reason I enjoy Darrin's friendship - he will say or observe the thing you least expect. I wish I would have noted where I got this reference, but I think of Darrin as one of my toy-ship friends. A toy-ship person is a person who could sit and watch toy ships float on a pond or in a fountain for hours and enjoy every minute. He'd enjoy the randomness of their movements, the pride of the ship owners, the interactions between the children, their parents, and everyone sailing these ships. While you would see only ships floating on a pond, Darrin sees ships on the sea battling currents and waves, he's sees a son and his father forging bonds that will last lifetimes, and he sees perfection in Chaos Theory and Archetypal Patterns. Now he owns a camera and he can share what he sees with the rest of us.

The second is a business colleague and friend who simply added photography to his already lengthy list of amazing hobbies. He carves and builds woodwind instruments, he practices Transcendental Meditation, he built an amazing home in concert with a spectacular natural setting, he writes poetry (I'm pretty sure he does), and most recently he began capturing the world he lives in and the world he sees by way of his Nikon camera. I get many emails to my inbox advising me of the latest business trends, the best ways to build wealth, or a task I need to complete immediately, but none are more welcomed than Michael's weekly collection of photos that put it all in perspective. The world is beautiful - enjoy it. Take a moment and click around Ananda Soup ...at the very least I'll bet the images here are better than most of the views outside our office windows.

BRAGGING: My daughter is fast! Period. My wife spent Sunday monitoring a women's 10K and then told me to bring the family out to Kensington Parks for a Kids Fun Run. I've always thought my li'l 4-year-old was fast, but this was beyond my expectations. The other 5, 7, and even 9-year-olds had their work cut out for them to keep up with my recently-turned-5-year-old. Better yet ...she loves running and is proud of herself and how fast she is. My 3-year-old son impressed me by running the entire mile without stopping and also doing the pushups, the boxing, and punch-cards. Isn't there some race across the desert of Saudi Arabia? I'm entering my daughter in that.

Ya know, I like to be 'funny' (I try, at least), but sometimes I'm just not in the mood. Don't worry. Check back tomorrow. I'm sure I'll have something crass or slightly clever to share. For now, just remember ...the world is beautiful.

Doin' the 'do and Doin' the

RESCHEDULING: My haircut. I realize I said I was going to get my hair styled last weekend, but it wasn't in the cards. So I've endured one of the longest, unruliest weeks and, finally, I'm getting re-styled. Three stylists will show me their concepts for my hair via three 10-minute presentations and whomever I feel most comfortable with, and whom I believe share my vision for my hair, will be chosen to shampoo, condition, cut, and style my hair. If even one of these poor fools thinks electric clippers is the way to go, I'll bounce their ass faster than a 3am oil infusion treatment.

ARRIVING: My coat. Curse this 79-degree weather cuz I want to wear this thing.

PLANTING: Trees. 3 of them. A Ginkgo, a Maple, and an Oak. I'm like a one-man reforestation effort.

WONDERING: Why The Onion hasn't written me back? Not even a cordial 'we recieved your writing submissions and we're reviewing many outstanding candidates.' I'd even accept 'we had a good laugh at your sixth grade level writing samples.' It matters not weather I get positive or negative feedback, mainly I just like attention.

TALKING: Finally, the security guard at my brother's grocery store has given us something to ponder. Enjoy.

The DonniEgo Community Theatre Players
present
The Crazy Conversation VII & VIII:
G= The Security Guard; B = My Brother

G: Hey, Don's-Brother. You know that little guy who rides that tri-cycle?

B: Yes.

G: Ya know he never has any trouble, he is just out getting exercise and getting outside?

B: Yeh.

G: Now he is just pushing a cart around the store and just getting exercise. Ya know he is just moving around the store and not bothering anyone?

B: Yes.

G: I think his name is Raymond; he is a good guy.

Later...

G: Hey, Don's-Brother. Who is that little guy that's a cashier? I think he is new?
B: You mean him (pointing at the new cashier)?

G: (not looking where I am pointing) You know that new guy? He is short?

B: I think you mean Derek; he just walked by.

G: Did he? Well you know I hear that alarm going off all night and it just keeps going off. I try to keep track of where the customers are coming from when the alarm goes off. I noticed that he has alot of customers from his register that set the alarm off.

B: Oh.

G: Yeah, Grace and I talked to him yesterday and told him what he is doing wrong. He has to make sure he is scanning everything and I don't know if he is.

B: What?

G: Yeah, he came up here yesterday and went behind the counter to get some cigarettes, I don't know if it was Parliament or what. I don't smoke; you don't either do you?

B: No.

G: Well he got his cigarettes and he only had a couple bucks, ya know you need more than that to buy cigarettes (at this point I don' know if he is still talking about the cashier or a customer)

B: No.

G: Ya know I have noticed these things before and I usually just tell the manager and they handle it however they want to.

B: Thanks.

G: Ya know what they say ... "You have to play by the rules of the game, or the job you are in."

B: (I have never heard this saying ...I walk away)

Global Warming...

Well, maybe not 'global', but certainly my neighborhood, and it couldn't be more awesome. I take that back. It could be raining money from the sky, and that would beat any temperature.

SABOTAGING: Project Washboard. The introduction of the Orange Zest Mocha into my consciousness could pose a serious threat to Project Washboard. As could my 5-year-old's birthday which will bring cake and ice cream into the household. Say a prayer for me.

UPCOMING: Concerts. Kids in the Hall come to Detroit on May 30th, and I'll be there. Panic at the Disco comes to town on the 20th of May. I'll be there, too. Care to join me. Email me.

FACEBOOKING: I wonder if I can add a concert calendar to my Facebook page so everyone can know all the cool concerts I'm attending?

JUMPING: For joy. Weezer's new CD is coming out 6/17 (tentatively) ...you can hear :30seconds of the first track, "Pork and Beans" here, and you can also sign-up to get a reminder to download the song when it becomes available in-full on April 22nd. Or just check back here ...I'll remind you.

APPLYING: Shhh. Don't tell myfellow spunkybean writers, but I submitted writing samples to The Onion for a writing gig. Considering my only writing credentials come from my blog and my own personal web site, and my experience is limited mostly to 6 months, they may be having a good laugh over there at an old man like myself trying to write for a 'kids' site - but old age has made me unaware of children's laughter, so ignorance truly is bliss.

SHOPPING: For me. My wife sent me a coupon from Express that says save $10 off a $20 purchase so I'm going to buy a fly dress shirt. I could also save $20 off $75+ purchases ...so maybe I'll go crazy. And then I'll shoplift another $100 worth of product. I just love the thrill. I also look wicked awesome in their 1MX shirts - and imagine how awesome I'll look when Project Washboard is complete!

Look for me looking stylish somewhere near you, soon.

What Am I Doing?!?!?!?

PROCRASTINATING: I found a great way to avoid work, relationships, and my hobbies ...Facebook. I feel compelled to look at all my 'friends' pages and then steal cool apps they have and then make them work on my Facebook page, and then rearrange things, and edit things ...for no reason. I got up at 5:30a this morning with the full intention of 'writing' and ...well ...its now 6:22am and I'm just crackin' my notebook and will attempt to write something. But not before I take time with my #2 time-waster ...blogger.

LISTENING: To The Beatles via my Facebook My Music application. It's cool. I guess it scours YouTube and I'm on my third, random Beatles track. Oh ...and now I'm listening to "Welcome to the Black Parade" from My Chemical Romance ...its so easy. Right there in my other browser window. Like magic.

UPDATING: Project Washboard. Day 2. I ran-slash-walked 2-miles last night. I only wish I could've had Facebook jogging there along with me. Imagine how much more fulfilling a jog would be if I was socially networking whilst doing such. My legs are sore. My calorie intake was less than 1500 (I think ...I'm guessing), and I feel full of energy (though I miss being full of cookies). It's been 24 hours since I announced to the world (yes, the world reads this blog) Project Washboard and, as of yet, my mid-section shows no signs of wash-board-esque rigidity. Fear not ...I will prevail.

RECYCLING: Men's Health. I had a subscription to this magazine for years and years. Saved every issue. Then I realized every issue was pretty much the same ..."get rock hard abs" ..."lose 10 pounds this week" ..."get faster and better looking" ...same stories every week. So I boxed them all up and cataloged them and forgot about them. As part of Project Washboard, I'm going to open up the boxes and, monthly, start picking a random back issue and take the work-0ut and diet advice from it. Given my limited cognitive skills, I don't think I'll remember ever having read them and the advice will seem brilliant and new. This endeavor would not work with Time magazine, I assure you.

EXPERIMENTING: With coffee. I'm a few short minutes from my wife bringing me coffee back from Caribou (don't worry ...she was up and at boot camp at 5:30 ...I haven't made her my gopher or 'runner' ...yet). They've introduced a line of orange zest drinks (aptly titled Orange Infusion) and I've always been fond of the chocolate-orange flavor combo (don't judge me ...try it before you knock it) and an Orange Zest Mocha is on their menu ... it should arrive shortly. I'll report back. Worry not.

UPDATING 2: Facebook is playing Panic At the Disco ...sahweet.

Projects and Perusing

BEGINNING: Project Washboard. Enough is enough. While I proudly have carried an extra 20 pounds on my person as a sign of my immense wealth and success, I'm going to, instead, let my fancy cars, high-end clothing, and expensive tastes in wine define my opulence henceforth (or is it 'wenceforth'). I vow to have washboard abs by July 27th.

READ AND READING: Last week I read The Comic Toolbox by Jon Vorhaus, 10 Rules of Writing by Elmore Leonard, and If You Want to Write by Brend Ueland. This week I'm gonna tear through I Am American (and So Can You) by Stephen Colbert as well as Business Plans for Dummies by Paul Tiffany (Author), Steven D., PhD Peterson.

LISTENING: 3 CDs I can't stop listening to in heavy rotation ...Vampire Weekend by Vampire Weekend, Pretty. Odd. by Panic at the Disco, and a classic ...Rhythm of the Saints by Paul Simon. It's an oldy, but something about both the offerings by Vampire Weekend and Panic at the Disco reminded me of this CD so I ripped it to my PC and synched it with my iPod and ...viola! Paul Simon is roaming around my consciousness, again.

Returning from Vacation

LAUDING: Hulu.com. Watch last night’s The Office. Watch all sorts of stuff. Full episodes in HD. The only thing lacking over YouTube is overall quantity of content.

SAVING: Money. I scored a HUGE savings (almost 55% off the original price + free shipping) on a J. Crew Long Snorkel Goosedown Puffer Jacket and, though I won’t be wearing it until next winter, I’ve now got a reason to look forward to fall, football games, and even winter itself. Not only am I deftly clever and creative, I’m also fashionable.

TRIMMING: My hair. I’m gonna get a hair cut this weekend and will ask for the Ryan Seacrest faux-hawk look …worry not fans-of-Don’s-hair …its just an experiment. Just trying it on for the spring season.

TALKING: About spunkybean.com. I know …its probably tiresome to most of you. But I have to tell ya, I’m really getting quite a bit of buzz around my Idol write-ups and if you like those, well, don’t miss my riveting investigative report on monkeys ruling our world and my upcoming article on the subject of the ultimate summer mix tape.

EXPLAINING: Where I’ve been. I’ve been in Vegas …and writing other stuff. I know that some of you (meaning, me) probably check this blog all the time and you’ve no doubt been missing my coif updates, random thoughts and observations, and life lessons – well …I can help with one of those, soon, hopefully. My TV-reality show concept re-write has proved to be a daunting, daunting task. But I’m hard at work. I have the names and numbers of people at Ryan Seacrest Productions, of Dave Broom (creator of Biggest Loser), and an old friend at MTV and now all I have to do is finish the written pilot, cross every T and dot every I, and then propose to these people as well as potential investors who will help me fund my pilot and then get this all on the air. Phew. This WILL happen, however. Mark my words. Well …the pitch will happen, emails will be sent, and phone calls will be made. The ‘getting people to buy it and produce it part’ …well, even a guy as smart as me can’t predict stuff like that.

LAUGHING: At a fictional-but-possible future encounter and participation on The Amazing Race with my random blogosphere friend, EJ, from A Nickel for the Swear Jar. Our premise is that, though we’ve exchanged countless emails and currently write for spunkybean, together, we’ve never met nor spoken and we intend to propose our duo to CBS as ‘Pen Pals” and insist we cannot meet until Phil says ‘go’ on that first episode. My vision includes us both being led to the starting line in blind folds and then readying in old-timey beach changing tents until we start the race. EJ’s vision includes this exchange he wrote down in this blog entry.

REALIZING: We really need to submit audition tapes for the fun of it, I think.

I’m sure there’s more, but this is just what popped into my head on this 70-degree Friday afternoon. Simply beautiful. Have a great weekend.

REMEMBERING: One more thing. Please don't read this or listen to this if you are a relative of mine ...otherwise, enjoy the hilarity of Porn for the Blind shared with me by spunkybean and DonniEgo reader D.W. (not sure if he wants his entire name nor his small business and his blogs attached to this reference). Last night, at 1 a.m., I was sitting in front of my computer laughing hysterically - like a mad scientist but without a lab or experiments going on ...there was lightning outside, for the record. Just too funny.

Click and listen (NSFW):
http://www.pornfort heblind.org/ audio/httpwwwmil fhuntercom. mp3