Back from Vacation ...let's Call it a Blog-cation.

Nearly two weeks since I blogged about anything. Gosh. This is awkward. Like when you meet a chick at a bar and say you'll call, and then you don't. And then you want to, and you mean to, and you still don't. And then, damn ...two weeks have gone by and ...talk about awkward. Well, I'm the kinda guy who'd call. So consider this blog entry my 'phone call' and you 'that-chick-I -met-at-the-bar' in this analogy. Don't be that way. I really, really liked you and can't wait to hear more about your hilarious cat.

VACATIONING: I meant to take a buncha notes and have a million things to write upon my return. I didn't. I observed only the following ...

1. I'd like to win the lottery. Some people will say you'll appreciate your money more if you earn it ...I say nope. I just want to be rich, live on a lake, and drive my pontoon boat around all day.
   
2. I make great sand castles, complete with towers, moats, and a marketplace where serfs and peasants can peddle their wares. My kids don't seem interested in learning about the Feudal system and mainly want to knock the castles down.
3. Running on country dirt roads is fun and more rewarding that running in a suburban neighborhood ...or away from cops.
4. My friend is an awesome photographer. Hire him.
5. The Chrysler Town & Country is a brilliant vehicle. Buy one. Or laugh at me and pity me because I just wrote that.
   
6. I need to buy a bigger memory card for my camera.
7. I miss the serenity of washing dishes by hand rather than loading them all into a dishwasher ...and I miss how soft the dish soap makes my hands ...look ...I soaked in it.

DISAPPOINTING: Well, that wasn't nearly as therapeutic as I had anticipated. Guess I should've taken notes. But make sure you check back often ...I have much more of myself to talk about.

WATCHING: Mad Men is finally back. Woo ...hoo! I love this show. So much so, I'm writing about it over at that thar spunkybean. Check out our first round table discussion. I promise ...next week, I'll write as if English is actually my first language. My point was ...Mad Men has influenced fashion more quickly than any basic cable show in history. I doubt Breaking Bad's Brian Cranston will have the same effect.

PARKING: Cars on my lawn. For the PGA Championship which is at Oakland Hills Country Club - a mere 5 minutes from my home. No, it's not like that. I'm pretty sure the members there would bull doze my neighborhood given the choice because the odor of "middle-class" and common folk grilling ground chuck (as opposed to the ground sirloin I'm sure they eat) makes them a little bit sick. But when a major golf championship or event comes to town, my neighborhood turns into some sort of merchants bizarre with people selling their lawns as parking spots, selling waters, snacks, coffees, t-shirts, and handing out Gideon's bibles. Well, I'm gettin' in on that action, too. My daughter's made $14 in lemonade sales. If you are coming to the event, email me and reserve a spot.

HOUSEKEEPING: Tuck in that shirt. Run a comb through that mop. Brush your teeth. Stop ending your sentences with prepositions. I'm going to be including some super important people on my random DonniEgo spam email and invite them to read my incoherent ramblings ...I want this place to look respectable. Ahem. Hi, J.H. and B.B. Yup. It's like this all the time. Can I offer you a caffeinated beverage or some salty snacks?

Hit 'em straigh, y'all.