Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy

This is it. My big break! Screw the writing crap, the web site, the spec scripts, the radio show I'm writing for, and the screenplay idea. Nope.

WALKING: On. That's right, I'm going to have a walk-on role on Mad Men. Check out the contest. I'm going to shoot a video and you all are going to vote. Again, and again, and again. What should it be? Should I sexually harass my assistant? Should I call the women in my office "dames", "toots", and "sugar?" Should I see a pretty girl in the hallway and say, "Damn! Can I get some fries to go with that shake?" (you have no idea how badly I've wanted to say that to somebody ...I know ...I know ...its awful ...but funny). Whatever I do, I'll have severe amounts of Brylcreem in my hair, a Scotch and water in my hand, and a cigarette a'burnin'.

HOPING: That someone who loves me realizes the Mad Men Season 1 boxed set with the ultra cool packaging came out yesterday (July 1st) and that they plan on purchasing it for my birthday which is, now, only 10 days away.

RUNNING: Ran 4 miles this morning like nothing. I asked myself, "Where did that energy come from?" I had a burger for lunch and a turkey burger for dinner, and fries at both meals, plus a pickle, and then 4 chocolate chip cookies (home baked ...yum, honey) and two chocolate chip brownies, and a large glass of 2% milk to wash it down. And here I thought that would put me in less-than-peak condition for an early morning run. Wrong-oh! I've discovered a *new* runner's diet. I feel immense ...and thanks to those calories ...I probably appear a bit more immense.

MORE RUNNING: With Nike Free 5.0 barefoot running shoes ...just like the ones Will Smith is wearing in his new film Hancock. Hell yeah, everyone. Many laughed at my commitment to the art of barefoot running but the laugh's on you. Will Smith runs barefoot ...well ...with expensive shoes designed to mimic running barefoot ...but still. Me and Will Smith. We're the same.

And I wonder why my love handles don't seem to go anywhere.

WRITING: My Bachelorette recap. I got a late start and was tired, and lazy, and uninspired ...but rest assured the recap will be posted for your lunchtime reading pleasure at good 'ol spunkybean.

MISSING: You. Or, you, me. Either way. I'm gonna be vacationing for a few days because everyone gets all excited about July 4th, it seems. I get excited to drive hundreds of miles and buy $4 gas. I used to pay much less for gas, but now I buy the good shit. $4 gas ...its gotta be good! (one of you will know where I stole that joke ...the rest of you ...just call me a joke-writing comedic genius).

SINGING: Along to Rihanna. She's on the radio right now. Hey. It's my blog. If I wanna confess I listen to the same music teenage girls listen to, I can. Shut it.

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