Friday, September 28, 2007

Anger Issues

I just read that NBC is debuting a show called Phenomenon, starring Criss Angel and mentalist Uri Geller. They'll be searching for the "next great mentalist." This makes me so angry I have a good mind to take up smoking and smoke 10 cigarettes in a row and angrily smash each cigarette out in an ash tray.

I hate Criss Angel ...starting with the way he spells his name and ending with his retarded magic.

Maybe its a sad statement that this has ruined my day, but it has.

Dammit!!! His face will never be on my TV screen. EVER!!! (smashes cigarette butt in ashtray on corner of desk).

Note: I'm going to add more stage directions to my blog entries ...I think that'll be a nice effect.


Criss Angel is a fraud, to the core. He is to magic what Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia are to comedy (though I really think Dane Cook is funny, sue me). And now Criss has a show called Phenomenon which, I guess, means that's what he is? Screw that. Gimme Blain any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

I want to go to one of his stage shows and boo until my voice goes hoarse. I don't think he even has stage shows ...cuz he's a total fake!!!!!!!!!

Granted, if he walks into my office right now and levitates ...well, I'll take it all back. But he won't, cuz he can't. He sucks.

Come on, NBC. You have a real shot to gain some ground on the other networks, right now. Don't do this. You see, NBC, I'm rooting for your comeback? Why? I don't know. But I came of age when The Cosby Show led into Family Ties which led into Cheers which led into Night Court. You were the top dog. No one could touch you. You had the NFL. You had the NBA. You were the cock of the walk - or peacock of the walk, if you will. I don't like that you've fallen so far. I feel sad that still images of great scenes from CSI airing on CBS could get better ratings than many/most of your shows. So when you have Heroes and The Office, and now Chuck, I think, "this might be the beginning of their comeback." And then you team up with Criss Angel showing that you are still floundering. Nobody likes Criss Angel. Well, not enough that it'll get you any ratings. What next? The OJ Simpson Variety Hour? Trust me ...Angel is just as horrible.

Grrrrr. I need some coffee.

5 comments:

Myndi said...

I culd not agree more about rooting for NBC, with all that leftover goodwill from the halcyon days of the 80's. Childhood memories are powerful things. And, now, even tho the ratings are not big, I'm uber-protective of my current fave NBC shows, esp. when Marc Berman from Media Week bashes them for underperforming. I get very upset; it's really not rational. Angel is just yucky and no doubt has multiple STDs, so ewww.

EJ said...

There's a whole generation of us who will always think of NBC as the best network. Even when they went through their rough patches (Quick! Other than Scrubs, name a show that NBC launched in between 1998 & 2004. Now, name one that didn't have Law and Order in the title. Can't do it, can you?) As it stands now, NBC is dominating my favorites, and they don't have anything on their current schedule that's really embarassing.

Stupid Mindfreak, getting his Lindsay Lohan-banging self all over my network. Our best hope is for a Heroes crossover wherein Sylar eats his brain.

Don said...

Two readers?!?!?!? Woo hoo! And my wife makes THREE!!!! Great day in the morning.

Funny how us 30something GenXrs have this loyalty to NBC. I wonder if we're the only 3 or maybe there's a whole legion of us waiting for Must See TV to regenerate like the Cheerleader.

She should be saved, by the way.

Thanks, lady and gent.

DarrinW said...

Count me in as being loyal to NBC too. My infatuation with the network become solidified in the 80's, not by a sitcom but rather the news on WOTV (now WOOD). Cynthia Grebe was a newscaster that I thought was the bees knees. You couldn't pry me away from Live at 530. I wonder what ever happened to her.

Anonymous said...

If you want to know what happened to Cynthia Grebe, she quit work to marry Bill Schutte. And the rest is history.