Wednesday, October 22, 2008

We're All in this Together...

Betcha wonder why I'm so excited, today? Is it because I'm 24-hours away from a 4-day family vacation? Is it because my hair looks fantastic? Perhaps you wonder if I ate a good meal, recently (I did, fyi). To be honest, its all these things and more.

PREMIERING: High School Musical 3, baby! You think I'm joking? Check out these dance moves, yo ... (I'm doing a spot-on routine of the dance scene in part 2 during the "Work This Out" number me). Yes, while the rest of you chump pre-teen and teenage girls are going to have to wait until Friday to see if Troy wins back-to-back state championships, if Chad and Troy can manage to stay friends for longer than six months, if Sharpay ever finds a heart, if Ryan finally gets his moment in the spotlight, and if its actually, really possible that Troy and Gabriella break-up and actually don't go to the prom together ...well's one 35-year-old guy who's going to get all those answers tonight! How, you ask?

WINNING: Premier passes from a radio station for the opening of High School Musical 3. Well, my wife actually won them. And it was awesome. My wife has 'skillz'. Mad skillz. Among them, the power to control time and space, like Hiro, from Heroes. Her other skill? The ability to talk very, very fast. If FedEx revived their classic '80s commercial campaign with that guy who talks fast, and if he was unable to fulfill his duties, my wife could step right in. A local radio station pitted Moms against Moms and asked them to call in and attempt to say "Getcha head in the game" more times in 15-seconds than the other Mom. It was like watching Goliath and David, The Rematch. My wife, the 'Goliath' in this parable, managed to spit out 27 "getcha head in the games" in the 15-seconds allotted her. It was incredible. And it was 6:30 in the morning and she had just come from her early morning bootcamp and was out of breath, and she hadn't even had coffee, yet. The other Mom, obviously shaken from what she'd just witnessed, tried mightily but only managed 18 or 20 times. My wife screamed! We high fived! I started singing "Stick to the Status Quo" towards the phone, hoping the loser Mom would hear me and would pick up on the fact I was taunting her.

"Oh, no, noooooo ...stick to what you know!"

I should be embarassed by all this, but I'm not. Let's put it this way ...go out and get yourself a 5-year-old daughter (please use traditional means, I'm not encouraging anything illegal) and immerse her in pop-culture and see if you, too, don't suddenly know all the words to both HSM soundtracks and tell me you can't wait to see this new movie.

TRAVELING: To Speed Talking competitions, whenever and wherever. A quick Google search revealed there isn't currently a speed-talking circuit (I'm sure its 'underground' and maybe not the type of thing a Soccer-Mom should be involved in), but I'll find it (or start it). I mean, there's a Blackberry Speed Typing league and Pogo Stick league ...speed-talking's day in the sun is here!

TRAVELING 2: To Atlanta to see my best friend. My "bff", if you will. Holy crap! This blog entry reads as if it was ripped out of a 9-year-old's diary. Well, my "bff" is a cage fighter and we're going to roll around Atlanta bashin' heads in and gettin' drunk and coked up. OK. No we're not. We're going to annoy our wives with our stupid jokes, our strange way we talk to each other, and if the Spartans lose to U-of-M on Saturday, with our foul moods. I leave in 24-hours for the road trip and I'll be taking my 5, 4, and 2 year old on a 13-hour trip and I'm looking forward to it. I'm like Clark Griswold over here. We'll play license plate bingo, sing songs, watch movies, tell stories, stay in a hotel, and hopefully visit a few landmarks. And maybe, while on our journey, we'll find ...ourselves. My 5-year-old and I have grown distant and she resents the fact she only has 2 Webkinz (some of her friends have upwards of 12) and I'm hoping, like the road trip in Little Miss Sunshine, that we can do some bonding and break through the wall that divides us.

I could keep going with that analogy, but I won't. Check back often, and check spunkybean on Thursday for my preview and review of High School Musical 3 does one write "scrreeeeeeeeeeeee!" to convey excitement?

1 comment:

KWass said...

My 10 year old daughter has 32 Webkinz.

My 6 year old daughter has 17 Webkinz.

You heartless bastard.