I'm Rich (Again)

You probably get "spam" like this. Emails from some foreign millionaire or representative of an estate, claiming you are a long lost relative of someone in Africa and you are entitled to a share of a huge fortune. All you have to do is provide your bank account # or send money and ...voila! You'll have tons of money in return.

Sadly, some people fall for this. Including yours truly. Save for a few computer glitches, I'm guessing, I'm waiting on nearly $7.4 million dollars to be deposited into my account, any day now. More than worth the nearly $5,000 I've laid out ...but, after all ...these are long lost relatives. I feel I owe them.

Recently, I got this gem...

Dear Email Owner,
I am Mr. David Smith I have been waiting for you since to contact me for your Confirmable Bank Draft of £600,000 Six Hundred Thousand Pound Sterling) but I did not hear from you since that time. Then I deposited the Draft with FedEx Delivery, West Africa, I travelled out of the country for a 3 Months Course and I will not be back till end of January.What you have to do is to contact the FedEx Delivery as soon as possible to know the delivery of your package to you because of the expiring date. For your information, I have paid for the delivery charges, Insurance premium and Clearance Certificate Fee of the Check showing that it is not drug oney or meant to sponsor terrorist attack in your Country.The only money you will send to the FedEx Delivery is to deliver your Draft direct to your postal Address is ($120 USD) only being Security Keeping Fee of the Delivery Company . Contact Person: Dr. David Grant
Email :fedex.delivery877@live.com
Telephone:+(234)7032452914
Finally, make sure that you reconfirm your
Postal address and
Direct telephone number to them again to avoid any mistake on the
Delivery and know when it will get to your address. Yours Faithfully,
Dr. Tony Page.

Now, before you go sending this cat $120, just know ...this was sent to me! Get your own trustee or long-lost-Uncle. Got it?

What do you suppose happened here? This is, by far, the most poorly written, least focused, and least clear letter I've received on one of these scams. I believe this is a multi-million dollar industry in Africa. The "unknown inheritance" business is the auto-industry of the continent, if you will. This "Tony Page" very likely worked for the biggest "unknown inheritance" firm in all of West Africa, for years, and just kept getting passed over for a promotion until one day, finally, he was like, "Screw this. These bastards won't promote me, and I just sit here monitoring emails all day waiting for some old American to fall for this crap ...and for what? A bag of rice and their 'word' that my village won't be burned and all the people in it killed?"

So one day, after a particularly bad performance review, "Tony Page" quit and decided he'd run his own fraud company and ...well ...that's the letter.

Good luck, Tony Page ...or David Smith ...or David Grant ...whomever you are. Your bosses were right to keep you on the administrative side. I'll say a prayer for your village ...see? I've seen Blood Diamonds ...I know all about Africa.

p.s. I'm just glad its not drug money. Otherwise ...well ...I'd be a little leery.