Wednesday, April 11, 2007

American Idol

...and soon there will be seven.

I guess I knew alot more about Latin music than I thought. Apparently Latin music is pretty much defined by Jennifer Lopez, Gloria Estefan, and Santana. I'm guessing this is the equivalent of defining Hip Hop & R&B by performing the songs of the Fresh Prince, Sammy Davis Jr., and Living Color. Sorry, just being honest.

To say that there might be a shocker this week is not a stretch, but a great singer might be going home.
DOOLITTLE: Sang "Sway." I actually had to look this up to make sure it could classify as Latin. Yes, it was written by a Mexican band leader. I thought this might be a case where an American band leader tried to rip-off some Latin culture by putting bongos in a song and calling it a day - in the same way adding steal drums to any song makes that song Calypso. Back to Doolittle. I'm going to take a page from Simon's book. Imagine that an elementary school has a talent show and the teachers are allowed to perform. Mr. Doyle, 5th Grade, does magic. Mrs. Bocci, Librarian, juggles and rides a unicycle. The students love it. But the highlight is Mrs. Doolittle, 2nd Grade. Everyone has always heard she can sing so they can't wait to see if she is better than her interpretations of 2nd grade classics. Mrs. Doolittle raises a few eyebrows from the PTA with her song choice, but in the end, it was safe enough for 1st graders and 6th graders alike and Thomas Jefferson Elementary goes bananas!!! Compared to the magic act and the 4th grade girls performing Jessica Simpson's "Genie in a Bottle", Mrs. Doolittle was way, way better. But on American Idol, this night ...she was only so-so. There's a real chance she'll be in the bottom three.
LAKISHA: Not good. Not Sanjaya-style horrible. But, not good. I hope, for her sake, they quickly get past these gimmicky weeks - Top 40 Songs That Gwen Stefani Likes and Latin music. Do you know why Whitney Houston doesn't cover Latino songs and why Luther Vandross never cut a country CD? Because it would've sucked. Watching Lakisha have to do this crap makes me sad. She or Doolittle could be in the bottom three ...hopefully they can survive.

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE #2: I thought I would hear a Latin classic such as "Livin' La Vida Loca" or "She Bang" before I heard Santana. Guess not. JT2 doesn't interperate the artists he covers, he channels them and impersonates them. Not the worst idea ...Bo Bice and Daughtry each made it pretty far by doing it ...but channeling Rob Thomas doing a duet with Santana won't win you a record contract.

LEGBERG LEGGENSTEIN: There is another show on TV right now called "The Next Pussycat Doll." Interestingly enough, the next Pussycat Doll is right here performing on American Idol. Fox gave a knod to the pervs at home by slowly panning from her feet, up her legs, and then onto her smile. Simon gave her credit for capitalizing on her strengths. Me too. But I swear, if I get tickets to the American Idol Summer Tour and she dares to wear anything but short shorts and/or skirts, I will boo her right off stage. If she makes it to next week - and I'm putting her in the bottom 3 - my wife hit the nail on the head ...she should wear a thong.

BALDY-WHO-SOMETIMES-WEARS-HATS: All I can remember from this performance was the horribly weak attempt by the guitarist to play guitar like Carlos Santana. One thing I like about American Idol is that the show sometimes reminds you how incredible the voices of Whitney, Mariah, and Aretha actually are. When you see someone butcher "Run to You" you can't help but further admire the great voices in music history. Same here with the guitar riff ...sometimes you can't appreciate Santana, Eddie Van Halen, or Ace Freely until you hear someone trying to duplicate something they've played. Bottom line was so bad, I laughed. Bottom line, part 2 ...Baldy will be in the bottom three. This appears to be his greatest talent ...surviving the bottom three.

BLAKE: When he walked on stage I thought, "too bad 311 didn't cover some Latin jam ...he's screwed." But, instead, he went out and had the best performance of the night. He wore a hat to steal the people-who-like-hats vote from Baldy and he definitely stole the suburban-white-pre-teen vote from JT#2. Top 7, here he comes.

LINEBACKER: OK. I think her name is Jordan. She may be the next contestant's name I learn. She was the 2nd best performance of the night. So good, I think she'll steal votes from Mrs. Doolitte, 2nd grade, and Lakisha. I hate to break it down like that, but that's how I think the voting happens. What's odd about this season is that there's no country-guy/gal. If there were, he/she would be walking away with the show.

SANJAYA: This week he morphed into a Latino stereotype. This may be the week that he, at least, finds himself in the bottom three. You see ...VoteFortheWorst has it right there in the name: "worst." Thing is, Sanjaya wasn't the worst this week. Aside from the Idol producers secretly paying him to quit, the best thing for them would be for Sanjaya to suddenly learn how to sing, perform, and start taking this seriously. What fun would it be if, by the end, Simon and Randy warmed up to him and then he actually starts selling millions of CDs. The "joke" wouldn't be funny anymore. I don't think he'll get voted off (if the rumors of all of India voting for him are true), but I would not be surprised to see him there (finally).
Predictions ...bottom three will be Baldy, Leggy, Sanjaya (Doolittle could replace Sanjaya). Booted ...Baldy.

1 comment:

Matt Christopherson said...

Old, Old, Old. Where's the new stuff????