Mid-Year Resolutions

Ohmigosh. The middle of the year came and went and I didn't make a single mid-year resolution, nor did I take a look back at my new-year resolutions and assess progress. Why? Because I don't make new-year resolutions. I'm bigger than that.

MINIATURIZING: My van. As in "mini van". Awwwwyeah, boooooy! Donnie bought his wife a mini-van. The Chrysler Town & Country, to be exact. We pick it up, tomorrow. I've fathered three children ... I turned 35 ... I wear Docksiders ... I bought a mini-van. And I'm excited about it. What has become of me?

FLIPPING: Brands. I'm a General Motors guy from a General Motors family and I follow a strict "buy American" mantra. Between my immediate family, my Uncles, Aunts, and all my cousins, we've mostly always owned G.M. vehicles. My parents bought my siblings and I a used Ford Escort in college because it was cheap. And my Grandfather, a lifelong Cadillac man, bought a Lincoln Town Car as his last car because ...well ..Cadillac stopped making those big ol' boats.

So, I bought a Chrysler ...and it's a weird feeling. But General Motors decided not to build mini-vans anymore and the mini-van's they built, they decided to commit very little creativity or ingenuity to the design. So they forced my hand. Some might argue that the Saturn Outlook or GMC Acadia is "like" a mini-van, and they're right. But it's not a mini-van and lacks stow-n-go seating, sliding side doors instead of regular doors, and lots of floor space to move around.

Basically, I can't wait to take a long road trip, soon, and sing show tunes and folk music with the kiddies and play license plate bingo.

That ...is what I've become. Clark Griswold.